


Memories Fall

by Lustforfrosting



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Jealousy, M/M, Sexual Content, Smut, Uni AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-07 22:07:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/753613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lustforfrosting/pseuds/Lustforfrosting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Louis and Harry, the bestest of friends, can be ripped apart by the evil hands of fate; things change and people grow up. But when outsiders like Stan starts to develop feelings for Louis? That changes things. Uni au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to the song "Untitled" by Matt Corby for providing me with a title.
> 
> Kisses to my beta Chris for helping me out. Love you babe.
> 
> Disclaimer: All lies.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> -Niko

“Zayn, have you seen my green jumper?” Louis shouted some Monday morning in the fall. His voice was distant, muffled by the walls and buried in his closet.

“No, Lou, I haven’t seen your green _jumper_ ,”

The mockery in Zayn’s voice was almost palpable and Louis sighed before he grabbed the grey jumper on the very top of his stack of jumpers and decided it would have to do. He knew he’d look absolutely gorgeous anyway.

For Louis, mornings were always a pretty stressful thing. He never got up early enough to go through all his routines like doing his hair, picking out the perfect outfit and eating a proper breakfast. Not to mention the twenty minutes he spent every morning just sitting on his bed preparing his mind for another day getting rid of the sleepiness that overtook every part of his small body. Zayn would always hurry him on, maybe even a little annoyed, but he’d always be laughing when they’d finally get in the car to go to the buildings that made out the University of London.

University was another thing that was pretty stressful for Louis. He didn’t like sitting still at a desk listening to middle-aged men and women babble about useless stuff, and he certainly didn’t like being accounted for everything they had said. That was what made it stressful for Louis – all the odd words, all the numbers, all the papers and all the nerve wrecking exams.

“Are you coming?”

“For the love of God, have some patience!” Louis said as he sprinted for the bathroom to brush his teeth. He could hear Zayn tapping the wall in their hallway in an impatient fast rhythm and Louis smiled to himself.

Zayn is Louis’ best friend. Louis breathes in Zayn as medicine and comfort every day, and whenever he’s separated from him for too long his breath seems to catch in his throat and he gets restless. Louis has other friends, sure, but no one quite like Zayn.

There had only been one other friend that had even been remotely close to the kind of friend Zayn is to him. That was Harry Styles.

Louis had known Harry since he was about two years old. Their mothers had always gotten along quite well, so Harry and Louis had kind of been forced into each other’s lives at a very young age. But they learned to get along and soon became good friends. They’d spent a lot of time together - well, until the summer Louis was fourteen and Harry was twelve.

Louis remembered Harry nodding discreetly at him in greeting as they passed each other at their neighborhood playground, as an insincere apology. The new golden haired Irish kid – the one who was constantly cursing out words Louis had never heard before – had his arm slung around Harry’s shoulder and was guiding him away. Louis wasn’t really sure if he liked the new Irish kid. But it was an odd moment; losing a friend. It didn’t really hurt – it didn’t feel like anything. Hollow and empty may be, like something that used to be there was suddenly ripped away from you and had only left trails of numbness behind.

What Louis remembered most about Harry Styles was his hair. It used to be straight and somewhat shorter. Now it is curly and covering his pointy ears. Harry also used to have a skinny, small frame but it had transformed into a tall, broad and rather intimidating frame over the past few years as Louis observed from afar. It was six years ago that they had stopped being friends, so Louis had obviously missed the majority of Harry’s growth spurt.

Louis tried not looking at him too much. For some reason whenever Louis’ gaze drifted to Harry, they caught each other’s stares and it caused a very awkward moment before they could both avert their gazes.

It happened the day Louis couldn’t find his green jumper. Zayn and him were walking down the Eastern hallway with their heavy bags slung over their backs, walking with slow, heavy steps. Harry was standing by the lockers, chatting up some girl. His dimples were making an appearance. A silent sigh escaped Louis’ mouth just before Harry’s eyes – haunting yet soft – snapped up to meet Louis’ blue ones. Something like curiosity was hidden in the depths of Harry’s eyes, but Louis didn’t notice. He quickly aimed his gaze for his feet instead.

Zayn noticed these moments that passed so quickly, because he wasn’t stupid. He knew what was going on – even more so, than Louis did.

Louis’ and Harry’s eyes met again later that same day. They were both running around the field, splatters of mud covering their shorts and shirts. Louis had stared long enough to notice Harry sucking in a sharp breath before turning his attention back on the ball.

Ball. Oh, right.

The blue eyed boy quickly refocused on the game. He was forced to spend time with Harry at least twice a week. They had both been on the football team for quite a while – Louis a little longer than Harry. They both avoided each other the best they could, and Louis always teamed up with Zayn whenever they were doing exercises in pairs. Sometimes he wondered why they were ignoring each other in the first place.

Time passed quickly when Louis was on the field and before he knew it, he was in the locker rooms with an impatient Zayn whining on the bench.

“Hurry the fuck up, Lou, I’m growing old over here,” he said, snapping Louis back from a daze. Zayn was all packed up and waiting – obviously – for Louis to get dressed. There was no one in the locker rooms but them – the last ones had left seconds before.

“Grey would suit you,” Louis chipped and Zayn snorted.

“Did you hear about Niall hosting a party for the football team this Friday?” Zayn asked casually as Louis was finally finished dressing and the two boys walked to Zayn’s car to head home.

“I think someone mentioned it, yeah,”

“Well, are we going?”

“I’m not your mum, Zayn, if you want to go, you can go,” Louis rolled his eyes at him.

Zayn raised an eyebrow at his friend and said, “I’m not going if you’re not going. You know the guys who are coming all have sticks up their asses. There will probably be a bunch of trashy, slutty girls over so they have something to occupy themselves with.”

“Well, what’s the point then?”

Zayn let out a huff of frustration as he drove a hand carefully through his quiff and they both entered the car. “I just think it’d be good to show up. We could just leave straight away, you know, but I think the other lads would appreciate our support.”

“Since when do you care what they think?”

“Niall’s dad is our fucking coach, Lou. Niall could get us thrown off the team with a snap of his fingers. And I like playing football…”

“Fine, fine, we’ll go,” Louis huffed, “Can we play that game then? ‘Spot the boner’?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You said there’d be lots of slutty girls coming over, right? And they’ll probably give lap dances and let the guys grind on them, which means there will probably be lots of boners. So basically whoever spots the most boners win.”

Zayn burst out laughing, “What’s the prize?”

“Hmmm, I haven’t figured that out yet. I’ll get back to you on that.”

“Alright,” He smiled, “Can’t wait.”

Zayn is kind of gay. He’s a complicated person and Louis never really knew his position in the matter, but he was definitely into guys – particularly into a specific guy on the team named Liam.  Louis knew that was the prime reason he didn’t want to get kicked off. Louis could easily talk to Zayn about cute blokes he’d seen and Zayn would often join in, but he never really announced it directly. Louis thought Zayn liked everything about him to be undefined and unknown and undecided, which included his sexuality. But hell, Louis didn’t even mind – Zayn could be whatever he wanted and he’d still be Louis’ best friend without a doubt.

In fact, he adored Zayn so much, that if he could choose to look like anyone in the world, it would definitely be _him_. Louis knew that a lot of girls at school absolutely adored him and his dark eyes, lashes and hair. Zayn has these incredible cheekbones and pretty lips. And then there’s the leather jacket, the way he blows the smoke out of his mouth as he takes another drag and the way he walks – the way he carries himself down the hallways as if he gives zero fucks about anyone there. He looks dangerous, but _so_ gay. Maybe it was because Louis is gay himself that he caught onto it so easily, because it seemed a lot of people around school hadn’t noticed.

Not yet at least.

Zayn and Louis had always had a platonic relationship. Louis was touchy a person, he’d admit that any day, so they had always been really close and a lot of people had often assumed that they were together. And well, they’d kissed once a few years back in a drunken haze when they’d both been lying flat on Zayn’s lawn, when both of them still lived with their parents, with half empty bottles clutched in their trembling hands. But even then it felt wrong – comfortable, but wrong.

School was busy and the week flew by quickly. By the time they were off on Friday afternoon, Louis couldn’t even recall what they had been doing the past five days.

They picked up sandwiches on the way to the flat they shared where they planned to hand out a little before going to Niall’s party. They played video games on their Xbox – a variety of zombie killing games, their favourite kind.

“Have you ever talked to Stan from the team?” Zayn suddenly asked as they were waiting for a campaign to load.

Louis never really talked to Stan. He was one of Harry’s good friends; always sitting in Harry’s group, always laughing at Harry’s jokes. Louis didn’t want anything to do with him more than necessary.

“Not really,” Louis replied.

“I think he likes you,”

Louis snorted in disbelief. “You’re delusional. He insulted my football skills last week, didn’t you hear?”

“I heard. He’s a tosser. But I think he likes you.”

“Well, of course, I’m _lovely_ ,” Louis said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “But other than that, what makes you so sure?”

“He was staring at you yesterday at practice, and it wasn’t like a normal stare,” He paused, suddenly smiling mischievously, “He _eye-fucked_ you, Lou.”

Louis raised an eyebrow at him and turned his eyes to the screen again. Zayn chuckled for a few seconds, but stopped when he realised Louis wasn’t going to respond.

Louis wore his favourite red pants, the one Zayn always says makes his ass look good, along with a striped t-shirt in white and black. He arranged his hair in a swoop to the side and slipped on his pair of toms. Zayn just shook his head at Louis with a smile, muttering something about how gay he looked under his breath. Zayn on the other hand was wearing all black except for a white t-shirt with the statement “cool kids don’t dance” in black lettering. Louis told him he’d rather look really gay than like a twat and Zayn snorted in response.

Most people were already drunk when the two best friends made it to the party and, as Zayn had predicted, unrecognizable half naked girls were scattered around; some were dancing, some were wedged between football players.

They spotted Aiden, one of their closest friends, with his usual group and hurried over to them without bothering to find Niall to announce their arrival. They hadn’t been standing there for long, when Stan was tapping Louis’ shoulder from behind, demanding his attention.

“Hi, Louis!” He said, a smile plastered onto his face.

“Hey, Stan,”

“Enjoying the party?”

“Yeah, it’s nice. You?” Louis asked out of politeness.

He handed Louis an unopened beer as he said, “Better now that you’re here.”

Stan kept talking about stuff that didn’t even matter, managing to slip in a compliment or a sexual innuendo here and there. Louis finally understood why Zayn would think Stan had a crush on him. He ignored his attempts at flirting and tried brushing him off, but the lad was relentless and didn’t seem to notice Louis’ subtle rejections. 

Louis couldn’t get rid of him till he excused himself to the toilet, because of course Zayn just kept smirking as he glanced over at Stan and Louis. He looked as if he was enjoying Louis’ despair, having no intentions of saving Louis.

Louis finished his beer on his way to the toilet. He checked himself out in the mirror, making sure his hair was still in its perfect swoop before he washed his hands in order to stall and walked out again. He passed the kitchen and got himself another beer, but Aiden spotted him and suddenly decided it was a good idea for Louis to join in on a shots game. Louis sucked at drinking games but he was able to pour down nine shots by the time Aiden finally gave him mercy and let him go.

Drunkenly, Louis stumbled to the bathroom for a piss. He vaguely noticed himself bumping into someone as he walked out, he apologised quickly as he steadied himself against the wall.

“No worries,” The person replied in a low, hoarse voice Louis immediately recognised who it belonged to, despite how drunk he was.

“Harry,” Louis was suddenly out of breath as he looked up into a pair of shockingly green eyes. Another rush of adrenaline suddenly started to pump through Louis’ veins.

Harry gave him a crooked smile, a dimple deepening in his left cheek. “Louis.”

“You’re really pretty, Harry,”

Harry laughed soundly with that throaty voice of his and it sent chills down Louis’ spine. “Are you alright, mate?”

“Yeah, I’m perfectly fine.” Louis wasn’t. He stood up straight, not wanting Harry’s height to make him feel superior.

“You look like you could use a glass of water,”

Louis shook his head, even though he really could, but Harry didn’t care anyway. He gripped Louis’ wrist with his fingers and pulled him into the kitchen. It was empty – people had moved to the living room where the music was and a particularly good song must’ve been playing. Louis laughed – of course the room was empty the moment Harry Styles decided to make an appearance in Louis’ life.

Harry grabbed a glass for Louis from a cabinet, while Louis patiently leaned his head against the cool surface of the fridge and breathed out heavily. Harry handed him the glass of water and waited as Louis drank it.

“Better?” Harry asked smugly.

“Much.”

Harry stared at Louis for a while, furrowing his brows as if he was re-evaluating something important. Louis tried to focus on Harry’s figure; somewhere in the back of his mind he knew there shouldn’t be two Harry’s standing in front of him as he staggered from side to side.

Before Louis knew it though, he was engulfed in Harry’s arms with his lips pressed to his in a hard, desperate kiss. Harry’s arms wrapped securely around Louis and roaming his back in uneven movements. When Louis finally came to terms with what was happening he managed to respond by pressing a hand to Harry’s cheek and slinging his other arm around his neck. Their lips moved perfectly against each other, as if they had been practising for years, despite how drunk they both probably were.

They pulled apart briefly to gasp for air before the curly haired boy’s lips were back on Louis’ again. He started grazing Louis’ bottom lip with his teeth and slipping his tongue out to have a taste. Louis groaned quietly and twisted his hands into Harry’s curls, as Harry parted his lips more and gently moved his tongue into his mouth with a sigh of satisfaction. Louis didn’t have a clue how long they stood there, just tasting each other but he knew he didn’t want to let go. There was something familiar and incredibly exciting about Harry Styles that Louis just couldn’t resist.

It was Zayn who interrupted them. He called Louis’ name from the door with an angry look in his eyes. He already had a cigarette between his lips. Louis turned to Harry and gave him a small smile as a goodbye, which Harry returned with a shadow of a blush crossing his beautiful features.

Once Zayn and Louis were outside, Zayn started cursing under his breath.

“Zayn?” Louis called out alarmed, questionable and a bit scared.

“It’s just… Liam...” He trailed off in curses again. “We can talk about it tomorrow, okay? I’m just tired and I wanna go home.”

Louis nodded, too dumbfounded by the turn of events to know what to say.

He slept in Zayn’s bed that night, curling his body around Zayn's protectively. Usually Zayn would be the one spooning him, but he knew that Zayn needed to be held today. Louis was suspecting Liam to have hurt him, which wouldn’t be the first time.

Louis had never fully understood the relationship between the two, but it went back and forth all the time. Liam and Zayn never really interacted at school and Zayn wouldn’t explain why, so Louis didn’t push him on that. But some Sunday mornings Louis would be watching telly and they’d both stumble out in boxers to get food from their fridge and then disappear into Zayn’s bedroom again. Louis was a curious, rather blunt person by nature and whenever Liam left in the late afternoon he simply couldn’t help bugging Zayn for details. Regretfully, Zayn always bypassed his questions the best he could and he often ended up distracting him with something. Or, when Louis would be persistent enough, Zayn would give up cryptic answers that left Louis more confused than before.

Louis had collected _some_ information though. He knew that Liam was still in the closet, that his bizarrely wealthy parents were rather conservative, and that he had difficulty admitting his feelings to Zayn; partly because he was scared and partly because he was shy. Other than that, Louis’ impression of the lad was that he was nice and friendly, but also a bit sensitive and desperately craving affection. Though, for some odd reason, Zayn seemed willing to give him that affection.

Louis tightened the arm he had wrapped around him and mimicked his heavy breathing.

Despite everything concerning his best friend crowding his brain, Louis fell asleep to the image of green eyes in his head.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Louis spent the following week wanting to talk to Harry, trying to think of excuses that wouldn't make him look too desperate for his attention.  Ever since Niall’s party he couldn’t get him out of his head. Harry was always there – an image of curls, pale skin, pink lips, dimples and glistening green eyes. It drove Louis crazy and he just wanted to see him again. Feel him and taste him, may be.

Since Harry and Louis had a two year age gap, it was rare for them that their schedules worked out and their lunch breaks fell during the same time. The only times Louis is able to see Harry during school hours is at football practices. But for some reason Harry didn’t show up at practice on Monday so Louis didn’t get a chance to meet him till Wednesday. When Louis spotted him, he was standing in one of the smaller hallways talking to some blonde girl, who couldn’t stop twisting her manicured hands through strands of her hair.

Louis had never been a shy kind of person, but he hesitated at first, because he was unsure of what to say. He contemplated just running off, but decided he definitely wasn’t a coward, so he simply just walked up to Harry, ignored the glare he earned from the blonde girl and said, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Harry looked taken aback and Louis couldn’t help but notice that he frowned a little, a tiny crease forming between his eyebrows. “I’ll be right back,” Harry muttered to the girl and followed Louis far enough away from her so that she couldn’t eavesdrop.

“What do you want?” Harry asked once they had both stilled.

“To talk about what happened last Friday,”

“What about it?”

Louis winced a little at how hostile he sounded and fisted his sweaty palms. “Why did you kiss me? I mean, I just don’t know what brought this on. We haven’t been talking for so long and it’s not like we’d been flirting throughout the night, I just...”

“Because I was drunk? Jesus, Tomlinson, I’m not going to fucking ask you to marry me now, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at him and an incredulous expression appeared on his face. “Like I was expecting that, _Styles_ ,” He almost hissed. He just couldn’t help himself – if people were rude to him, Louis’ inner bitch came forward.

“Then what are you expecting?”

“I just want to know why –”

“For no reason. Like I said, I was drunk,” Harry said, and something flashed in his eyes that Louis couldn’t quite pinpoint, “Now let’s forget it ever happened and go back to not acknowledging each other.”

“You really _have_ turned into an asshole.”

“And you continue to flatter me, Tomlinson,” Harry grinned sarcastically. “Now leave me the fuck alone.”

“There’s nothing I would rather do.” Louis seethed and spun on his heel to walk away, trying to collect the small pieces of dignity he had left.

He was torn between wanting to cry and wanting to punch someone. But yeah, Harry was kind of right, what had Louis expected? He cursed himself for thinking that the actual _Harry Styles_ would have that kind of interest in him. The rich bastard could get anything and anyone he wanted with a snap of his fingers, and that would probably not be Louis. In fact, this was the second time he’d rejected him and it made him feel humiliated.

He went home and locked himself in the flat, praying that he could be alone. Zayn was out with Liam. Liam had apparently apologised to Zayn for calling him a 'fag' in front of Liam’s 'cool' friends while he was pissed drunk at Niall’s party. Louis understood why Zayn forgave Liam. Louis thought he would forgive Harry Styles for almost anything if he just apologised to him.

 

It was a couple of weeks since Louis had confronted Harry. Zayn and Louis were spending the night in, more because of boredom and lack of activities to be done rather than volunteering to spend some quality time together. Sunday nights were usually saved for studying, but they had finished earlier than usual that day.

“We should get drunk,” Zayn suddenly suggested and got up from the couch they were both seated in. He came back with a bottle of vodka and a few beers. He handed Louis a beer with a pointed look and Louis grabbed it, a bit hesitant. Louis wasn’t a big drinker, really, and neither was Zayn, but Louis knew he believed it was healthy to drown in your own problems once in a while. Noticing Zayn’s put down mood, he guessed him and Liam to be having problems again, so he gave in.

He didn’t want him to be pathetic and self-sympathize all alone.

It took them about an hour to get to the point where everything was wonderfully spinning. Zayn, who never dances until he’s completely shit-faced and doesn’t know left from right, had put on his precious Chris Brown playlist and was jumping around in their flat and thrusting his hips to the rhythm of the songs. Louis had tried to get up at one point to dance with him, but his legs hadn’t cooperated so he had retreated to lying on the couch and screaming out the lyrics to a song he definitely wouldn’t know in a sober condition.

Suddenly Zayn had crouched in front of him wearing a big grin before he kissed Louis at the corner of his mouth. “We should go outside for a walk.”

“Your ideas are weird,” Louis mumbled.

“So is your sense of fashion, but I still compliment your outfits. Now come on!” He grabbed Louis’ hand and hauled him up from his comfortable position on the couch. Everything went black for a second and Louis had to lean on a wall to steady himself, but Zayn snuck his arm around his waist and supported him while he dragged him towards the door.

They didn’t bother with jackets even though it was quite cold outside. The leaves had already started falling, leaving the trees naked behind. They stumbled and laughed and shouted words that didn’t exist in the English dictionary all the way to the nearest park, where they sat down on a bench, knees touching.

“Liam told me he loved me today,” Zayn suddenly blurted out.

“That’s nice,” Louis laughed and slung his arm around his shoulders. “You guys are cute!”

“Yeah, but I don’t believe him,”

Louis fell silent for a while, and eventually let out a quiet, “Why not?”

“If he loved me he wouldn’t be so ashamed to be with me,” He whispered, his voice breaking on the last syllable. It was suddenly all too quiet. The feeling that had been dominating the both of them – feeling as if they’d set fire to their insides for fun to chase visions of their future – was completely gone. The feeling of being young, wild and reckless was fading. The laughing that was energizing the air only seconds ago was so far gone now and so was every other sound.  However none of this mattered to Louis because the only thing that mattered to him at the moment was Zayn.

 “Do you love him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I have a good feeling about Liam, and I’m pretty sure you do love him because I’ve never seen you look at anybody like that before. You can’t let that go, just because the timing isn’t right. I know how happy he makes you, Zayn. Remember the first week you and Liam started dating?”

“I remember,” The other boy said, the corner of his lips slightly twitching up.

“You were so happy, like, rainbows literally came out of your ass,” Louis smiled, “And you’re still happy with him – happy enough to not let him go. As for if he loves you or not, I’m certain he does, but he has some issues and you need to give him time to sort that out, as hard as that maybe. I’m sure he will come around, love, but it will need more patience on your behalf.”

Zayn nodded, salty water dripping down onto his hands in his lap.

Louis rubbed his back in circles. “I love you,” he said.

“I know,” Zayn muttered, “I love you too, Lou.”

They were silhouettes in the dark when they decided to go back to their flat after a silent while on the bench. Louis felt much too sober to be doing this and a panic attack seemed to be creeping up on him, but that too started fading the closer they got to the exit of the park, towards the street lights and noisy cars still driving for whatever despite the bizarre hour of the night.

Once they were out in the light again and not sucked into the dark of the park, Louis grabbed Zayn’s hand and he glanced over at him.

“Let’s run back.” Louis said.

Zayn flashed a devilish smile at him and Louis could almost hear Zayn's muscles flex as he accelerated and sprinted down the street. Louis was a heartbeat slower to set into a run, but he almost caught up to Zayn by the time they reached the elevator of their building. 

They crashed in their separate beds and Louis didn’t even bother undressing. He just needed to sleep for the few hours he could before he had to get up again for another day of school and another day of yearning to kiss the lips under the set of green eyes that he adored an awful lot.

 

The following days blurred into a massive heap of a time period, but Louis was pretty sure they were passing by rather quickly. He spent most of his time studying, playing football or working his ass off at a café down town that specialised mostly in different kinds of tea. His brain was rather occupied and didn’t give him time to ponder his current situation with Harry. Also, since the Sunday night Zayn and he spent chasing memories away, he had been feeling a lot more content.

Zayn was busy as well, but he had a boyfriend – secret or not. It felt like he spent every free minute with Liam, and although Louis was happy for him and for _them_ , he couldn’t help but feeling lonely whenever he was done with his homework early on a Friday or Saturday night. Honestly, he felt lonely whether he was occupying himself with work or not. Louis did have plenty of friends, but he hadn’t been in the mood to hang out with any of them lately – well, except for Zayn. So Louis just pushed the loneliness away, boxed it up in a far corner whenever it started pulling the strings in his heart to bleed.

 A few long weeks of this passed by seamlessly when Louis found himself on the football field, sweating his ass off at practice. His hair was sticking to his forehead in a very unattractive way and his legs were aching so much that he had to bite his lip to stop the tears.

Once his coach whistled and called practice off, most of the guys scurried inside to wash up and go home. Louis, however, never really liked standing in a crowded locker room with dicks swinging everywhere, afraid of the reaction it might cause in his own, so he always took his time and helped collecting the stuff they had used for practice – and it was exactly what he did that Monday too. It was a routine for him.

Louis gasped at the sudden contact of skin on his arm and looked up to see Stan standing right in front of him with a bright smile on his lips.

“Hey, Louis,” He beamed.

 “Hi, Stan,”

Stan stepped closer and Louis noticed his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip before he said, “Do you have any plans for this Friday?”

Louis took his time to think about Stan’s question and foresee the possible outcomes Louis’ answer could have. He decided that it was probably the best idea to give this guy a chance to prove himself, and that he would be bored shitless Friday anyway, since he wasn’t in the mood to join Aiden at a club. “No, I’m free. What did you have in mind?” Louis replied.

“Well, this might come as a bit of a surprise to you, but I really like you, Louis, and I would like to take you out... like on a date?”

Louis wasn’t surprised at all – he could read body language and Zayn hadn’t exactly been secretive with his assumptions. But Louis nodded at him, encouraging him to continue his rant, and Louis’ eyes suddenly locked on three figures about ten meters away from Stan and him. As Stan rambled on about where he’d like to take Louis and how long he’d been thinking about asking him, Louis scrutinized the figures. Zayn and Liam were talking and standing way too close for it to be casual. Zayn was touching Liam’s arm intimately and they both giggled occasionally as blushes crept under their skin. Sometimes Louis wondered what magical spell they lived under that allowed them to so easily hide their relationship for this long. The third figure was standing next to Liam, but distanced from the two love birds. It was definitely Harry Styles.

Louis sucked in a quick breath as he noticed his crossed arms, furrowed brows and his curled lips as if he was about to growl or hiss. He looked even more angry and hostile than the time Louis had confronted him, and it really made him feel kind of overheated in an almost good way. The worst part was that Harry wasn’t even looking at Zayn and Liam, but he was looking at Stan and Louis. Or just Louis. He couldn’t really tell, because of the increasing fog on the field that made everything so unclear.

“... So what do you say? Friday at seven?” Stan said and waved his hand in front of Louis’ face, “Louis?”

“Uhm, yeah, sure. Friday at seven, I’ll see you then,” he winked.

Stan glanced at him for a second or two, before his face broke into a satisfied smile, and said, “Friday at seven. I can’t wait! See you around!”

He was already gone before Louis could say anything else. Louis watched as Stan walked up to Harry and they started walking to the locker rooms together. Louis started walking as well, but he couldn’t help but hear the hisses that escaped Harry’s mouth – hisses and grumbles that were definitely directed towards Stan. Louis was unable to make out any words though, so he just let it go as Harry thinking he had power over people and that he had perfect reason to be angry at everyone for no particular reason. Like he had been angry with Louis for no valid reason.

The next day at lunch Louis was completely minding his own business, strolling down the cafeteria for Zayn and his’ usual table, when he noticed that Zayn wasn’t there. Before Louis had had enough time to react to it, someone put a hand on his hip to stop him from walking any further. Louis looked down at the person who had extended their hand to see Stan, once again smiling brightly.

“Sit down, Louis,” He grinned.

Louis hesitated and let his eyes wander over the people Stan was sitting with and felt a pang of surprise as he saw Zayn sitting next to Liam, who sat next to Stan. On the opposite side of the table Harry, Niall and a guy named Nick sat looking rather neutral. Louis wasn’t exactly a part of their group, but Stan didn’t seem to care   tucking on Louis’ arm when he had been standing there speechlessly for too long.

“Sure,” Louis breathed out, walking around the table and sitting on the free seat opposite Stan and next to Niall.

Zayn flashed Louis a smile from where he was sitting, almost as far away from Louis as possible. Louis returned it rather aggregately just before Zayn turned his attention back on Liam. Louis nibbled at his ham and cheese sandwich and gazed up at Stan expectantly.

“So I was wondering if I could pick you up at seven thirty instead? On Friday?”

“What?”

“For our date,”

“Oh, erm, yes, of course,” Louis mumbled trying to stay calm, suddenly feeling the tension wavering from somewhere beside Niall as a pair of hands gripped the edge of the table roughly.

“I really can’t wait to spend time with you,” Stan continued, “But apparently I looked at the wrong Friday on my working schedule, so it’ll just be another half hour.”

Louis nodded absentmindedly, “It’s totally okay.”

Stan didn’t take notice of the suddenly tense atmosphere but Louis certainly did.  He shifted in his seat, trying to steady his flickering gaze and focus on anything but the hands gripping the table or the dark curls next to Niall. He started eating his sandwich again and contemplated his awkward situation.

“Are you two going out?” Niall suddenly asked and it was almost a little too late for it not to be weird.

Stan blushed, looking innocent save for the proud smirk that played on his lips, “Yeah, Friday,”

Niall lit up beside Louis, but Louis felt a little too exposed and a little confused as well. “Good for you! Update me on this, yeah?”

Stan blushed a deeper red and nodded, smiling, “I will,”

Louis became even more confused when Niall suddenly started talking directly to him, as if Louis was a part of their stupid group. He asked about what courses Louis was taking, where he lived, how he knew Stan and so on. Louis couldn’t help but locking his eyes with green ones occasionally, even though he tried to concentrate really hard on Niall’s blue ones instead. Neither could he help noticing the storm of anger that seemed to be swirling in them; it made him cringe and shiver, which was weird, because he usually wasn’t one to be easily affected by others.

Harry Styles stayed quiet for the entire lunch break as they all sat there and chatted as if they were friends. Zayn didn’t take much notice, too occupied by the blush in Liam’s cheeks.

“I’m gonna go to the, uhm, toilet. I’ll see you later,” Louis muttered a few minutes before his class would start and ran off before any of them had time to stop him. He would’ve said something much more sassy, on the edge to being offensive, if it wasn’t for Harry’s presence. Louis fucking hated it. He walked briskly towards the toilets, his fingertips trembling slightly with tremor at the image of Harry.

He locked himself in one of the booths and relieved himself, but waited a few seconds before exiting to control his breathing.

This is getting fucking ridiculous, Louis thought.

He unlocked the door and got out, aiming for the sink to wash his hands. He  let out  an involuntarily gasp when he reached the counter and looked up into the mirror  only to find a reflection of Harry Styles leaning up against the wall, his eyes closed . Harry opened his eyes by the sound of Louis’ gasp and they were musky and darker now. Louis couldn’t decide if he should be more scared of this look in his eyes rather than the fire of anger that had been there earlier.

Louis turned around and he almost felt paralysed as he was unable to move, to leave, to never look at Harry ever again.

Things happened very quickly again, just like at the party. It was weird, because it was Harry. Harry was tall and lanky and all slow movements and heavy breathing. He talked slowly, carefully pronouncing each syllable. He always thought long and hard and when his decisions were made too quickly it always went wrong. But somehow the way Harry took one vast step to cross the space between him and Louis and shoved him up the wall with an arm pressed across Louis’ chest – somehow, that didn’t go wrong at all. Somehow, he was fast and precise and extremely strong.

Louis hitched for his breath and blushed at how ragged his breathing sounded, but he had enough courage to stare Harry right in his eyes and he decided that was more than he could ever ask of himself.

“Are you and Stan dating?” Harry said through gritted teeth, still managing to let his breath sweep over Louis.

“What –what if we are? What difference would that fucking ma – make?”

Harry’s eyes narrowed for a moment before he leaned in and pushed his lips onto Louis’ with a breath taking force. It was different from last time. They weren’t drunk, so it didn’t feel lazy and slow but a bit desperate anyway. Instead, teeth were clinking, tongues were pushing together, hair was being pulled and nails were scraping against skin. It was _angry_.

Harry groaned into Louis’ mouth when Louis finally got the power and started sucking on Harry’s tongue. He moved on to suck hard on Harry’s pouty bottom lip and eventually he bit down and coated the redness with his saliva from where he had bit down as if soothing the stinging pain. They got lost and Harry was gripping the side of Louis’ face in a way that was too soft, in a way that wasn’t casual or furious, but in a way you’d touch someone you might love. Louis didn’t notice though, but only noticed how much more frantic it was – frantic because anyone could walk in on them in this very moment and that alone made Louis go wild and suck harder on the spot under Harry’s ear which made him moan appreciatingly.

Coming to terms with the situation, Louis pulled himself back, brathing heavily. He growled at Harry who’s eyes widened in disbelief when Louis pushed him away with all the strength he had in him, ignoring the desperation inside him when their skin separated.

“What the fuck is the matter with you, Harry!”

Harry was glaring now and shoving his hands in the pockets of his slim black jeans. “You and Stan will make a great couple,” He spit sarcastically and pushed the exit door open just to slam it shut loudly, the noise along with the venom in Harry’s voice ringing in Louis’ ears.

Louis locked himself in the toilet booth again to sit down. He rubbed his temples with his thumbs as he tried to steady his breathing and come down from his high. He didn’t even understand what the hell was going on and why Harry was being such a twat, but he knew for sure that Harry definitely didn’t like the idea of Stan and Louis together and he definitely didn’t like _talking_ to Louis either. It made things fucking complicated and he was unsure of what the hell to do. Especially because he didn’t know exactly why Harry was being so jealous.

 

“You like Italian, right?” Stan asked and searched Louis’ face for answer. They were both seated in Stan’s expensive Mercedes and Louis almost felt nauseas at how cliché everything felt. Stan even had his hair smoothed out to the back, Louis almost gagged when he opened the door at 7:30 sharp.

“Sure.”

“Great,” Stan said as he turned left, “It’ll just be two minutes.”

Good. Louis was starving and it had reached the point where his stomach just felt like a huge empty space. By now he basically didn’t give a damn what he was eating, just that he was eating.

Louis had to keep reminding himself what he was doing here. _You’re giving him a chance, be nice for once – you can handle that_. But he wouldn’t admit that he was partly also doing this because he liked seeing the flashes of jealousy in Harry’s eyes. He would see them at lunch next Monday, because surely Stan would tell his friends about their date. Louis liked the jealous Harry despite all the anger. Louis himself was jealous by nature, and he knew that he was only jealous because he cared and didn’t want to share. He hoped it was the same for Harry and not just some sick game he was playing.

The restaurant Stan had taken him to was nice and cozy and, had it been been anyone but Stan taking him, he definitely would’ve felt comfortable in the new atmosphere. But he didn’t. He kept picking at white cloth covering the small table, running his hands through his hair and fidgeting with the collar of his shirt.

“Order anything you’d like,” Stan smiled.

“Thanks,”

_Step up your game, Tomlinson. This is not how you operate._

Louis knew he needed to do better, otherwise Stan would think of this date as a disaster and he couldn’t risk that. He couldn’t handle watching an evil smirk play on Harry’s lips. No.

“So do you come here often?” Louis asked, turning his eyes away from the table to look at Stan’s hopeful face.

“Nah, just once in a while. I don’t date much,” – _I just fuck_ – “And if I’m getting food out, I usually just stop by Burger King.”

Louis tried to keep a grimace off of his face. He didn’t like Burger King at all. “That’s nice,” He muttered in response.

“How about you? Do you cook or buy take out or...?”

“I can’t cook for shit.”

Stan chuckled at Louis’ bluntness. “Me neither.”

“There’s a sandwich bar just down the street from where I live, so, I usually just go there.”

“Yeah? Do you live alone?”

“With Zayn, my best friend,” Louis said.

“Bad boy with the quiff? Liam’s boyfriend or whatever?”

Louis had to sink a lump before replying, too dumbfounded at Stan’s stupidity. They all played football together twice a week and had been doing so for years, yet he hadn’t even noticed how good friends Zayn and Louis were? He wasn’t even sure who Zayn was even though one of his supposedly good friends was fucking him on a daily basis? Louis really tried to push his annoyance away, but he just couldn’t, because that was the thing with Louis. He didn’t really hide feelings like that – he felt physically unable to do so.

“Yes, Liam’s _boyfriend_.” He muttered through gritted teeth.

“What’s the deal with those two anyway?”

He sighed because he didn’t really feel like talking about Zayn and Liam and definitely not with Stan who seemed to be the most oblivious person he’d ever met. And it definitely wasn’t a good kind of oblivious. But he tried – he really did. The time dragged and he excused himself twice to go to the toilet, just so he could reply to a text he felt vibrate in his pocket and call Zayn for the sake of hearing his voice.

Stan thanked Louis for a lovely time when he was dropping him off at his flat and Louis lied and promised he had enjoyed the date very much. He had frozen on the spot when Stan had leaned in, but luckily for Louis, Stan was a gentleman and only pecked his cheek. He hoped his acting skills had come in handy tonight, because he was worried his dislike of Stan was showing a little too obviously.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Twilight was setting on a Saturday night when Louis found himself alone at home, something very unusual, curled up on his couch watching his favourite reality show. Aiden had called him earlier to ask if he wanted to go to a pub with him and a few others and even promising there would be a few blokes who were just Louis’ type, but Louis had declined and said that he wasn’t feeling well.

Zayn was at Liam’s flat and Louis could feel the jealousy prickling underneath his skin. He just wanted the old Zayn back. The Zayn who wasn’t so damn dependent on his boyfriend.

Louis lay all day like a couch potato long enough to finish watching the X factor, Britain’s Got Talent and some dating show that had just begun its season. The clock struck eleven and he was tapping his foot restlessly against the arm of the couch, contemplating what to do.

Deciding he couldn’t handle continuing the night solo, he got up and stripped himself of his one-piece in one swift move, making his way to his closet to choose an outfit. He ended up with black trousers a light blue shirt buttoned all the way up and his precious toms even though it was freezing outside. Louis didn’t bother spending a lot of time on his hair, but sprayed some cologne on and pulled his leather jacket on before exiting the flat. He texted Aiden that he was on his way and he got a cluster of letter in caps lock as a reply that didn’t make any sense. He interpreted that as excitement.

Aiden’s favourite pub was rather big; it had a large bar and even a little dance floor to the side. The music was bearable, the prices were alright and to be honest, Louis quite liked the place even more so than he wanted to admit – he’d always been more into the loud clubs. He liked the sheen of sweat on everyone’s skin and the way the fluttering lights cast shadows on the crowd.

“Louis!” Someone shouted, and he noticed Aiden and his group of friends sitting at one of the corner tables. He scanned the pub as he made his way over to Aiden’s table. It wasn’t too crowded tonight, just the right amount of people scattered around.

“Ah, Tomlinson! I see you’ve crawled out from under your rock,” Olly said as Louis approached the group, “I have to say that I’m a bit disappointed – I was expecting a full beard!”

Louis laughed sincerely and slapped Olly’s shoulder lightly before he said, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, mate, I was only taking a short break from your ugly face,”

Olly chuckled in response and pulled Louis in for a small shoulder hug. Olly was one of Louis’ newer friends that he had made once he’d started in University, but that didn’t mean he was any less of a good friend. The constant banter between them rooted in affection and Louis knew that if he really needed someone, Olly would turn up with a snap of Louis’ fingers. Plus, they had fucked a few times, so if Louis was feeling particularly horny, Olly would definitely turn up for that.

Louis greeted the rest of the group, before seating himself on a chair Aiden had saved for him.

“I’m gonna go order us another round of pints,” Olly said and turned to Louis, pointing directly at him with his index finger, “And _you_ , young man, are way behind, so I’m ordering you at least three!”

Louis didn’t protest, but simply shook his head with a small smile on his lips. He immediately got into a conversation with Lou, one of the girlfriends of the group.

It wasn’t until later, much later into the night, when Louis had caught up with the others on the pint count that his ringtone went off in the pocket of his jeans. He glanced at the caller ID as he brought the phone up to his ear.

“Zayn?”

“Where are you?” Someone said. Louis was too dizzy to notice that the voice on the other end wasn’t Zayn’s.

“The pub.”

“You might wanna come get your friend,” The person seethed, and Louis suddenly felt very sober and realised who it was, “We’re just outside _Cable_.”

“What happened?” Louis asked on alert as he grabbed his jacket that was slung over his chair.

“Just come get your fucking friend.” And with that Harry hung up and Louis was quick to say goodbye to his friends with promises of explaining what was going on later.

Lucky for Louis, who was too drunk to drive, the club _Cable_ was very close to London Bridge, which meant it was only a few streets away from the pub and the flat. He almost ran down the streets with a blank mind and when he arrived he was unsure of how he’d managed to find his way. He was quickly distracted though as he scanned the people standing outside of _Cable_ , but none of them resembled either Zayn or Harry. He walked around restlessly at first and was about to pull out his phone to call Zayn – or whoever was gonna pick up – when someone called his name from a narrow alley just a few steps from where Louis was standing.

“What the hell happened?” Louis demanded, anger surging through his body as he took in the scenery. Zayn was sitting on the pavement with closed eyes and his head between his knees. Louis was pretty sure it was Zayn’s vomit sticking to the ground a few meters away from them. Harry was standing up with his arms crossed and wearing the same expression he was wearing on the field when he’d seen Stan and Louis talking.

“Ask _Zayn_ ,”

“Where’s Liam?” Louis almost yelled at Harry.

“In my car, not that it’s any of your business.”

“Just tell me what fucking happened, Harry.”

“You can ask your sorry ass friend! I called for you to come get him – that is more than enough,” He grumbled and placed Zayn’s phone in Louis’ hand when he walked away, “Have a _great_ night.”

The sarcasm was dripping from his voice, and Louis wondered how Harry’s voice, Harry’s voice that is so soft and hoarse, could ever sound so cold and angry. Louis was too astounded by his voice that he barely noticed the way Harry’s fingertips hovered a little too long on Louis’ skin as he handed him the phone.

 

Zayn was vomiting for the fourth time now and Louis couldn’t do anything but rub his back soothingly and hold a wet, cold wash cloth against his burning forehead. Louis wasn’t sure if Zayn was continuously vomiting because of the alcohol or because of something else. He’d vomited shortly after Harry had stormed off, again when Louis had gotten them a cab home and now twice on his knees in front of the toilet at home.

“I think I’m done now,” Zayn croaked out.

Louis handed him his toothbrush as he said, “You should shower – I’ll make us some tea.”

Zayn nodded, sinking a lump and rubbing his red-rimmed eyes before he got up. Louis’ heart broke a little at Zayn’s fragile state, but made his way to the kitchen to focus on making them tea. He made a sandwich for himself and even had time to eat it because Zayn was taking so long in the shower. When he’d been drumming his fingers against the coffee table by their couch for much too long he considered knocking on the door to the bathroom, worried that Zayn had fallen asleep or tripped or something likely. But he came out before Louis got the chance to do so.

“Thanks,” Zayn said so quietly that it was almost inaudible as Louis handed him the lemon tea he had made.

Zayn sat down, eyes cast on his feet and he was gripping the cup of tea as if his life depended on it.

“You have to tell me what happened,” Louis said sternly, “And it has to be before you fall asleep.” Louis didn’t like the look on Zayn’s face and the indication of accusation that had flown from Harry’s mouth earlier that night – he had to know what had happened before he exploded with the frustration that had been flaming inside him since he saw the look on Harry’s face.

“I – I did something bad.”

“People make mistakes,”

“It’s not like that, Lou, I...” – Zayn paused and tugged a wet strand of hair behind his ear – “I punched Liam.”

“And I’m sure it was with a valid reason.”

Zayn’s gaze suddenly snapped up and his voice had gone up several octaves, “Lou, can you please just for me – _please_ – forget about whatever selfish reasons you have for disliking Liam?”

“I have nothing against, Liam!” Louis exclaimed with a pitchy voice.

“I’m not fucking stupid, Lou, I see the way your whole fucking _demeanour_ changes whenever I even mention him,” Zayn grimaced and continued, “Sometimes I don’t even get how you’ll ever manage to become an actor.”

Louis snorted, shifted uncomfortably in his seat before he asked, “So why did you punch Liam?”

“Well, we were just hanging out in his apartment and everything was _great_ and then – well, Harry came over and he was – he had been drinking and wanted us to come to a club with him. So we went and Liam doesn’t like us being touchy in public, and I – I’ve accepted that, it’s fine, but then I was getting us more drinks and Harry knew some girls that he’d gotten to sit at our table... and then when I came back Liam was gone.”

Louis nodded, already able to guess the direction this story was taking.

“I asked Harry where he was,” Zayn proceeded, “And Harry just laughed and pointed towards the dance floor, and Liam was with one of the girls and she was rubbing her hands all over him, but he was grabbing her ass and I just – I just...”

Louis moved to sit beside Zayn on the opposite couch, attaching their hips before he snuck his arm around his waist to rub his side soothingly.

“I was drunk, Lou,” Zayn whispered and looked straight into Louis’ eyes, the tears finally overflowing, “And I was just so mad and the thought of what could have happened if I hadn’t come, the thought of him touching her all night, I just... I got so mad.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t... You’ve never even had a _crush_ on someone. You _fuck_ people, Lou.”

Zayn almost looked shocked when Louis just smiled a little and not even tried to deny that Zayn had accused him of being a cold bastard and a slut.

“And then what happened?”

“Well, I grabbed him by the shoulder and then I – I... you know, punched him. Things just got really blurry from there, but I think a bouncer told us to _take it outside_ and dragged us out. Then we started yelling at each other and – and Liam was crying,“ Zayn buried his face in his hands and his chest was heaving unevenly as if holding back sobs, “Harry came out and he was really, really pissed, ‘cause, he – he  saw what happened.”

Louis tensed immediately and leaned closer to Zayn.

“Liam left and Harry just kept yelling at me and he was so right, Lou, he was _so right_. Then suddenly you were there and well... you know the rest.”

Louis nodded, taking in everything Zayn had told him for a silent minute. Zayn just kept rubbing his eyes like it would keep the tears at bay.

“You really like him, yeah?”

“I do.”

“I know my opinion doesn’t count much to you, considering what you think of me, but I think you should talk to him. _Tomorrow_. And do not let Harry fucking Styles stop you.”

Zayn sniffed and nodded, a rueful smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “You never told me what happened with you two.”

“And it’s probably best if I don’t. Ever.”

Louis got up with a relieved sigh and patted Zayn’s back, “Let’s get you to bed, shall we?”

“I’m not a child, _Louis_ ,”

“You punched the lad you like – that’s equivalent to pulling the hair of the girl you like in primary school.”

“For a moment there, I thought you weren’t going to make a joke about it,” Zayn scowled.

“Well, this just isn’t your lucky day, innit,”

There was a heartbeat of silence before Zayn stood up. “Yeah... I should go to bed.” He glanced at Louis in a way that was special – in way that made Louis smile because he knew exactly what it meant. To anyone the glance might seem passive, may be even dead, but to Louis the glance was anything but. It hid an endless stream of thoughts that Zayn was desperate to put to rest. It was pleading – so pleading that, to Louis, Zayn’s eyes had turned to the eyes of a puppy someone had beaten.

He trailed silently behind Zayn into his bedroom and wrapped his arms around him in comfort once they were under the duvet, because Zayn needed comfort and Louis was more than happy to give it to him. They both fell asleep with a content sigh, shutting all the noise out from the outside world.

 

“Just be honest with him, Zayn. Tell him how you feel. If he can’t accept an apology – if he can’t give you a second chance, then he’s not worth your time anymore.”

“I can’t believe I’m taking relationship advice from _you_ ,” Zayn smiled half-heartedly with a shaky breath.

“What are you talking about? Didn’t you know I’m a reincarnated improved version of Dr. Phil,”

“Dr. Phil isn’t dead, Lou, but no I actually didn’t know that,”

“I try not to tell people because they often get jealous of my knowledge and kidnap me to cut open my brain and –”

“I got it, Louis,” Zayn cut him off, “I’ll text you when to pick me up, yeah?”

“Fine,” He huffed before pulling Zayn into a tight hug. “Good luck, Zayney, I love you.”

Zayn nodded, “I love you too.”

Zayn turned towards the elevator for Liam’s flat and Louis watched him intently. He stood there for a little bit before finally getting in Zayn’s car to drive home. He decided to stop on his way to treat himself with pastries from a small bakery. He got out and walked briskly for the door, wrapping his arms around himself to try and keep his warmth. The bell rung as he opened the old wooden door.

There was no one at the counter, so Louis took his time to study the pastries and making sure he wouldn’t choose the wrong one. He could hear footsteps getting louder from the back of the store.

“I would like two of the raspberry tarts,” Louis said, not taking his eyes off of the selection, “Do you have any –”

He stopped mid-sentence when his eyes met green ones, and it felt like he had been slapped in the face. Because there he was, _Harry_ , and he was beautiful. His eyes were lighter yet deeper than Louis had ever seen them and they reminded him of the first leaves on the trees in April. His curly hair was tousled, his cheeks were flushed and he had a stroke of pink frosting not far from the corner of his lips. The colour matched.

Louis considered fleeing at first, because he didn’t need more anger right now. He didn’t need to be shouted at right now – it was entirely too early in the day, he still felt the fuzz of a hangover and his eyes were still heavy with sleep. Even the streets were dead silent; it almost felt like a mist had fallen over London and filled every space, every corner, and every crack in the wall. But Zayn had been impatient – so eager to see the constant innocent expression Liam wore – and Louis didn’t want Zayn to go alone.

“Do I have any what?” Harry glared.

“My bad,” Louis said and turned to the door, “I’ll just leave.”

“No,” Harry said and it almost sounded panicked, “Don’t, uhm, go.”

Louis turned back around and raised an eyebrow at Harry, but Harry’s expression didn’t falter. His glare disappeared as fast as it came and now he just looked... _tired_.

“I’m not going to stay here, just so you can yell at me so more.”

“I’m not going to yell at you,”

Louis cringed because he talked so excruciatingly slow and lazy, like he’d just woken up or like he’d just fucked someone, and for a short second flashes of Harry’s naked body appeared in Louis’ imagination. Frustrated with himself, but mostly with Harry, Louis exclaimed, “Then what! Insult me quietly?”

“No.”

Louis fell silent at that and Harry just kept staring at him with wide eyes and unreadable facial features. It felt as if they had been standing there – just staring at each other – for several decades when Harry suddenly moved to grab a paper bag to put the two raspberry tarts in.

“Is there anything else you’d like?” Harry asked hoarsely.

Louis sank a lump, trying to push his urges away. “No.”

Harry offered the paper bag over the counter and Louis stepped forward and took out his wallet, but Harry just shook his head dismissively at him and Louis put the wallet back in his pocket. He curled his fingers tightly around the paper bag, brushing Harry’s knuckle doing so.

“Is Zayn okay?” Harry asked.

“I think so,”

Harry nodded slowly, “Good.”

“And Liam?”

“He’s fine.”

Louis nodded too and shifted his gaze away, turning his body once again, to leave.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked, biting down on his bottom lip.

“Home. To sleep,” Louis said, “not that it’s any of your business.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I shouldn’t have been like that to you, I mean, you don’t control Zayn, and I know some of it was Liam’s fault too – I just, you know, I was trying to protect my friends.”

“I know,” – Louis paused for a short intake of breath –“It’s okay,” He finished and accidentally stared a second too long at Harry’s lips. Louis’ skin almost felt electrified.

And then Harry fucking _smiled_ at Louis. Louis had seen Harry smile before, he knew that his smile was absolutely stunning, but he wasn’t expecting the warm tinkling feelings that streamed through him. It was fuelled by the fact that Harry was smiling at _Louis_. The last time Harry had smiled at him was ages ago when they were both so young, and they still were, but it was so _different_. Things weren’t simple anymore and it took so much more to earn a smile now. He almost felt grateful, which he thought was absolutely pathetic.

“Would you mind keeping me company over a cup of tea?”

He stared hard at Harry before answering with a shaky breath, “Sure.”

Harry motioned for Louis to follow him out back where he pulled out a chair for him and put some water in a kettle.

“Don’t you have to deal with the customers though?” Louis asked.

“Nah, it’s too early. But in half an hour the line will be endless.”

“Fair enough,”

It was quiet for a minute or two as Harry got two cups out and two teabags, but it was him who broke the silence when he said, “It was kind of my fault, what happened last night.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, already suspecting his answer.

“I convinced those girls to hit on Liam and he’s a weak drinker – he gets drunk so easily and  he says yes to just about anything… It was really stupid, I know that. I guess I just thought that maybe he’d realise that girls are easier,” – he sat down and pushed over a cup to Louis – “But I’ve never seen him so upset before - like when he’s fighting with Zayn.”

“It would be easier too if Liam would just come out,”

Harry narrowed his eyes, “It would also be easier if Zayn would stop demanding things that Liam isn’t ready to give.”

“They have been dating for almost a year, Harry, it’s about time Liam stops hiding.”

“What do you even know about that?” Harry sneered and the crease between his eyebrows was back, and to be honest, it was turning Louis on, “Do you have any idea how his family is? They could totally shun him!”

“If his family can’t accept him for who he is, then I’m not sure how much of a family they are to him,”

“You don’t know shit. It’s not that simple. You can’t just… forget about your family.”

“It is simple. I came out to my family too, it’s difficult, but not so difficult that Liam can’t do it too,” Louis snapped with a glare, “Plus, if Liam really loves Zayn like he says, then it should be much easier to come out, because you’re doing it for _someone_.”

Harry turned his gaze away to look out a window left to him. His jaw was clenched tight and he had his hand curled forcefully around his cup of tea, causing his knuckles to whiten. When he looked back at Louis his eyes weren’t hazy any more, but sharper, as if laser beams were cutting through Louis’ bare skin.

“I heard your date with Stan went great,” Harry muttered, his lips frozen in an almost snarl.

 _Bingo_. “You heard correctly.”

Suddenly Louis felt as if the wind was punched out of him the second Harry stood so abruptly that his chair fell with a loud clang. Louis didn’t have time to react before he was being hauled up from his chair by his arm and pushed against the cold tile wall.  He still couldn’t believe how fucking fast Harry was moving around him, when he was always so slow around everyone else. Harry’s lips connected with Louis’ instantly. Louis felt unable to move, unable to respond, unable to think. He was really confused, but Harry was forcefully trying to get a response out of him.

“Please, Lou,” Harry whispered, his breath was so _warm_ as it swept over Louis’ wet lips, “Please kiss me.”

He pushed his lips back on Louis’ and parted his lips slightly. He grabbed Louis’ arms and planted them around his neck, pressing their chests impossibly closer together. Louis couldn’t resist any more as he melted against Harry’s tall frame. He opened his mouth and Harry’s lips settled easily between Louis’ and the rhythm was slow and steady and _intense_. He tugged on a curl at the back of Harry’s neck and Harry gasped, letting Louis get access to his tongue. He tasted like frosting and lemon tea, and Louis just couldn’t help it. He started sucking on Harry’s tongue, suddenly eager for more of that taste, for more of _Harry_.

Harry slipped his hand between their bodies and started lowering it, aiming for Louis’ bulge. When Harry’s thumb grazed his lengthening piece, Louis let out a slutty groan, but he didn’t really care, because Harry felt fucking amazing. Maybe even a little too amazing.

But despite everything – despite how good everything felt – Louis suddenly felt completely stiff when he realised Harry’s smooth fingers were unzipping Louis’ pants with incredible ease. He turned his head and Harry’s lips landed awkwardly on his cheek, but he had had enough for now.

He wasn’t going to be a secret like Zayn.

Louis fumbled to zip his pants back up and untangled himself from Harry’s strong arms. Harry was standing absolutely still, probably in shock, and Louis could almost feel his eyes planted on him. He couldn’t bring himself to look back into those green orbs though, so he simple ducked his head and was out the door before Harry could say anything. He didn’t realise until he got home that he’d forgotten the raspberry tarts at the table he and Harry had been sitting at.

Zayn called Louis a few hours later to announce that he was going to stay with Liam until tomorrow. Louis might not have been completely happy about it that day, but his bitterness was completely forgotten when he saw the content smile playing on Zayn’s lip as he came home the next day.

 

That Friday was the day Louis had promised to eat dinner with his mum, and for once he actually couldn’t wait. Things had been weird lately and he could really use the comfort from his mum. Maybe he would even tell her about Harry – she of all people would know what to do.

Louis’ phone rang as he was getting ready.

_Hey Lou! I was wondering about when we could go on that second date?? – Stan :) x_

He groaned as he read the text and closed it, deciding he’d reply later, before grabbing his jacket and slipping in his toms to leave. He couldn’t deal with Stan right now and he started regretting ever going on that first damn date with him, because things were just going to be weird at football practice – then again, it could probably never get weirder than the current relationship between him and Harry.

He borrowed Zayn’s car to his mum’s house, which was located in a small suburb north of London. He turned the radio up loud enough to drown his thoughts.

He was met by all the girls in the hallway, but they quickly vanished into the living room again, except for Daisy who clung to him as if he’d disappear for good if she let him go. Louis’ mum was in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. Louis hugged her from behind and Jay turned her cheek so Louis could kiss it.

“What’s for dinner?” Louis asked, picking Daisy up into his arms despite how heavy she was getting.

Jay started ranting on and on about what she was cooking, but all of the information bypassed Louis pretty quickly since he had no idea how to cook much less any knowledge on ingredients and recipes.

“... It’s Anne and Harry’s favourite dish too. They should be here any minute by the way.”

“What?” Louis gasped.

“I know you and Harry are not friends any more for whatever reason – I don’t really care – but you’re both adults now, Louis. I’m sure you can eat dinner together with your families without getting into a fight or anything. Nobody says you two _have_ to talk.”

“Mum...” He protested weakly, unsure of what the hell to say.

“Oh, stop acting like baby, darling,” She said, “I haven’t seen Harry for so long! Originally it was only Anne who was coming, because Harry had plans, but his plans got cancelled today. Isn’t that lovely? The girls love him too.”

Shit.

“That’s great, Mum.”

Every cell in Louis froze when he heard the front door open and slam shut. He could hear all the girls getting up from their position on the couch and the excited squeals of _Hareeeh_ in the hall way. It was too late to escape now.

Daisy, however, stayed attached to Louis’ arm and for that he felt grateful. She had always been extra fond of Louis, and not so much of Harry. Louis kept his position in the kitchen, as if glued to the ground, and held his sister closer, almost as a protective shield.

His breath caught in his throat when he Harry entered the kitchen. He was clad in a dark grey Pink Floyd t-shirt, black skinny jeans and his Ray Bans were dangling from his hand – it was like Harry hadn’t realised it was freezing outside and almost winter. He was wearing a smirk, his left dimple showing and fuck if he didn’t look better than he ever had. Louis immediately noticed the way his t-shirt stretched across his broad chest and how his hair was fucked up perfectly.

Harry never glanced at Louis, but cheek kissed Louis’ mum and finally turned to him.

“Hey, Lou,” He said.

“Harry,” Louis nodded in acknowledgement.

“Louis! I haven’t seen you in forever,” Anne chided coming from somewhere behind Harry and going in for a full hug, “Look what a handsome young man you’ve grown into!”

Louis thought he heard Harry chuckle before he disappeared into the dining room, from which Jay was calling that dinner was ready.

Louis seated himself as far away from Harry as possible, but it didn't really change anything. He could still hear him chuckle, laugh, talk and see him smile, smirk and occasionally furrow his brows whenever he was concentrating hard on whatever topic they were discussing. But it was _whatever_. It didn't affect Louis in any way – well, he wouldn't admit that it did.

Their mums asked way too many questions about life at university and Louis shut down and let Harry do the talking. So far, it was as if Louis didn't exist to Harry, but he didn't care. Not in the slightest.

When Louis' mum served dessert, Harry still hadn't really acknowledged him in any of the conversations that had been flying across the table, and it made him realise that Harry was possibly mad with him. Mad that Louis had left the bakery the way that he did, while both of their breathings were still ragged and their hands were still trembling with excitement.

Louis got quieter and quieter as time passed and Harry only seemed to get louder and louder. He kind of hooped that neither of their mums would notice this, since Louis used to always be the one doing the talking while Harry paid close attention to every small detail – when they were young and used to get along that is. He felt a bit ashamed for noticing this himself, and he was oddly annoyed that Harry was completely ignoring his presence. But really, he had no reason to feel that way, because he had been the one to leave. He had been the one to reject Harry, while Harry had been the one pleading and whispering sweet nothings and grasping the skin by Louis' hips to keep him close. Louis had just left.

When they were finished eating they all retreated to the coffee table by the couch in the living room, while Jay went out to make tea, coffee and probably get her home baked biscuits out as well. Harry was sitting on the couch with Phoebe by his side, crayons spread out on the coffee table and little drawings of spacemen and spaceships. Although Phoebe was a girl, even a girl who enjoyed wearing princess dresses at any time of the day, she had a rather boyish personality and Harry seemed willing to put her fantasies to life. At the moment, that was apparently wars in outer space. Louis blushed when he thought back to when he was her age and remembered that he had been more interested in dancing around to Spice Girls and Britney Spears in a skirt he'd stolen from his mum's closet.

“It looks delicious, Jay,” Anne chimed as Louis' mum came into the living room, hands full, “And once again, thank you for the invitation.”

“Yeah, thank you so much for inviting us,” Harry joined in, smirking like a motherfucker, “I didn't realise I’ve been missing the girls so much.” Phoebe fell into Harry's lap in a fit of giggles and reached up with her hands to tug on his curls. Louis wanted to punch himself for feeling jealous of his sister.

Louis sat on the floor with a rather sleepy Daisy in his arms, handing her biscuits and patting her hair in a slow rhythm. He listened to Anne, Harry and his mum talk and it was quite comforting – a hum of calm voices at the back of his mind as he drifted into meaningless thoughts.

He was snapped back to reality when his mum said, “Love, do you want to tuck Daisy into bed or should I do it?”

He glanced down where Daisy was sleeping in his arms and gripped her more tightly as he got up on his feet. “No, I'll do it,” He murmured and carefully moved up the stairs.

The walls in Daisy's room were painted in pastel yellow with little daises sprinkles across the walls in an amount that was appropriate enough to not be distracting. Dolls were scattered around everywhere on the floor and he almost tripped on one as he was walking over to her bed in the dark room. He tucked her Disney princess duvet set right up around her neck and pecked her forehead before quietly fluttering out of her room.

He was about to go back down the stairs when he noticed the door to his old room was cracked open. He walked in there, out of mere curiosity, but not exactly sure what he felt when he stood there and stared at the evidence of his childhood. The Manchester United posters were still clinging to the wall by the window, there were still shelves lined up with lego models and Louis knew for sure that there was still three bed rollers under his old bed filled to the brim with lego pieces and power rangers dolls. Maybe even a Spice Girls CD.

When he heard the door behind him creak he turned around, thinking it was his mum coming up to see why he was taking so long, but was left in what felt like a paralysing sort of shock condition when he saw Harry stand there, hands clasped in front of him awkwardly and a gaze aimed right at Louis that hid a million secrets.

“Couldn't find the bathroom,” Harry lied, and Louis knew it. Louis knew it was complete bullshit, because Harry had basically _lived_ at Louis' house for several years when they had been younger, much younger.

Louis didn't reply, knowing it would be completely useless anyway.

“Is it – do you think it's too late?”

“For what?”

“Starting over...”

It was quiet, neither of them had turned the lights on – the darkness made Louis feel as if he was living out a dream… or a nightmare really, depending how you looked at it.

“I don't know, Harry.”

Harry sighed and Louis fought the urge to hug him, to call him Hazza like he used to, to forgive him for everything although he wasn't entirely sure what 'everything' was.

“When you know, will you tell me?”

Louis nodded, not sure if Harry could see, but Harry didn't press any further.

“You're not mad though?” Louis asked, thinking back to how he left so abruptly at their encounter at the bakery.

“What? Why would I be mad, Lou?”

And Louis winced at the nickname, memories flooding back and blinding him for a few seconds too long, before he said, “I was rude to you that day at the bakery. Leaving like that. I shouldn't have –“

“No,” Harry cut him off, “I... I guess I shouldn't have come on to you that strong.”

“It's okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good, because it's going to happen again,” Harry said and Louis was certain that a devilish smirk had appeared across his pretty face. Louis was torn between taking the first step towards the taller boy to eat the smirk off his face or just leaving like his mind was telling him to, because he knew they would never be more than random snogging sessions. He didn’t want to do this because surely he would end up in it too deep, not able to pull himself away. All thought vanished from his brain when Harry’s eyes flashed with lust and he stepped forward with intimidating motivation.

“It’s going to happen right now.” Harry added before Louis was surrounded by his taller figure, arms tightly wrapping around Louis' body. He felt dizzy and he was slightly shaking, completely overwhelmed by the rush of emotions that his heart couldn't contain, shivers of feelings were suddenly spilling over and running through every vein in his body in the form of adrenaline. Lips were crashing, hands were roaming and bodies were pressed up against each other. Harry snuck his hands up Louis’ shirt and grazing the smooth skin there. Harry seemed to have some kind of obsession with Louis' belly, but Louis didn't mind. In fact, he fucking loved it, he fucking loved the feel of Harry's strong, lengthy fingers grazing and gripping, and just knowing that he could move Louis around effortlessly with his hands planted like that.

“I really need you, Lou. I really, _really_ need you,” Harry breathed against Louis' skin as he started trailing kisses down his neck. This time Louis didn't stop Harry when he slipped his lowered his hand and rubbed at Louis' growing erection, eventually unzipping his trousers. Before Louis even had a chance to blink, his trousers was down by his ankles and his cock was held heavy in Harry’s hand. Louis stumbled back, almost tripping again because his trousers by his ankles were trapping him. Harry laughed, throaty, deeply, and Louis decided he was going to make Harry suck him off, because he needed to feel those plumb pink lips around his cock. He simply wanted to fuck that smirk right off of his face.

Louis would have preferred to get to the bed, but standing up like this could work too. He was about to tell Harry to fucking _do_ something, but was silenced by Harry's lipsas his tongue entered Louis’ mouthwith such force that he had to remind himself to breathe. Harry suddenly slipped his hand between them and pulled him closer by his cock and _ow_ that hurt a little, but fuck if it wasn't in an extremely good way.

Painfully slow, Harry's hand started running up and down Louis' length, earning groans from the smaller boy as he forgot all about the unlocked door to his room and his family just downstairs drinking tea. Harry seemed to have forgotten too. “Please, Harry – fuck,” Louis panted but let out a sigh of relief when Harry finally stopped gripping the base so tightly and started moving his hand up and down in a steady, but slow rhythm. He kept up his slow pumping, swiping his palm over the tip every now and then to collect the shiny precum. The curly haired boy was a tease and honestly Louis should have expected it. He kept biting hard down on his bottom lip to keep from screaming out. He was trying to play it cool, to act like this wasn't completely different from any other bloke. But Harry felt incredible around him and most definitely not like any other bloke.

Finally though, Harry's hand increased its speed as he dropped to his knees in front of Louis, his pumping pace never faltering. Harry looked fucking gorgeous, if Louis was being honest. He threw his head back and let out an embarrassing moan in pleasure, when Louis felt the tip of Harry's tongue dipping into the slit of his already leaking cock.

 _Shit_.

Louis whimpered when suddenly there was an absence of Harry’s warm hand and his expertly tongue, nothing left but cold air sweeping over his throbbing length. When he opened his eyes he spotted Harry grinning up at the blue eyed boy, that stupid dimple on his left cheek deepening once again. Louis caught his bottom lip between his teeth again and clenched his fists to keep himself from shoving his cock into Harry's mouth.

“Tell me what you want,”

Anger flashed through the older boy and he let out a grunt, putting his hand in Harry's curls and urging him forward towards his crotch. Louis had never felt more relieved in his life – or so it felt – when Harry without protest let him guide his cock into Harry's mouth

It was like an electric bolt shot through Louis’ body as Harry started to press and glide his tongue across the lower side of his length. Harry's green orbs were staring directly up at the older boy the entire time. Louis was conflicted between looking down and possibly having the arousing sight trigger his orgasm and closing his eyes in order to prolong the pleasure. Harry finally started moving his mouth, bobbing on Louis' length slowly and flicking his tongue around the head. Louis' heartbeat was pounding so loudly it was ringing in his ears as Harry started taking him deeper, faster and harder. He relished in the tightness of Harry's slick mouth and started thrusting his hips, so eager for more and more and _more_. Because Harry Styles was giving him a fucking blow job in his old room, the room they'd played in together and shared secrets through midnight whispers so many times.

“Holy shit,” Louis moaned and Harry swallowed around him causing another electric bolt. The tip of his cock was hitting the back of Harry's throat now, his entire length was almost fitting into his mouth and _ugh_ it felt so good.

Louis felt a tightening in his lower abdomen and he gripped Harry's curls and pulled, chanting Harry's name like a prayer and trying to warn him that he was close. “I – I can't,” the older boy whimpered.

Harry began to suck harder, if that was even possible, swallowing all of him into his mouth faster than ever and _fuck_. Warmness spread through his entire body, as his orgasm built up and he came hard, spurts of spunk hitting Harry's tongue and the back side of his throat. Louis was seeing fireworks before his eyelids, and realised this was probably the best of orgasm of his entire life. Harry swallowed his load and it was so very hot Louis was sure he could get hard again in a minute or so if Harry kept this shit up. He finally let Louis' softening piece of his mouth and wiped his mouth before getting up on his feet.

The curly haired boy was smiling brightly, knowing he had done well – Louis' lids were still closed, staying closed, until Harry leaned forward and kissed his lips lightly.

“That was... really amazing,” Louis murmured against Harry's lips.

“I know,”

“Do you want me to...?”

“We should probably head back downstairs... Otherwise your mum might -”

“Got it,” Louis said reaching to zip his pants back up.

Harry was wearing his signature smirk again, “Save it for some other time.”

Louis laughed, not sure if there was really going to be another time but giving in anyway, “Alright.”

He felt content for the first time in a while, the adrenaline gone, replaced with a tinkling feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him want to express love, so he reached out for Harry with a careful hand. Harry took his hand just as carefully, brushing his thumb gently against the back of Louis'. The mood had taken a swift turn to something completely different, something extremely fragile. It could all break and shatter into a million pieces very quickly, Louis knew that, so he closed his eyes trying to memorise the feel of him, of _Harry_.

Now Louis was being pulled closer and he could feel Harry's hot breath on his face. He felt arms around him again and lips against his neck, not sucking, not licking or moving, just staying still, pressing lightly against Louis' soft skin.

“We should get back,” The older boy murmured.

“I know,”

“I don't want to,”

“Me neither,” Harry whispered against his skin. He moved away after a minute or so, walking towards the door. He turned at the last second to look back, grinning widely at Louis. The older boy followed shortly after, trying to avert his gaze to anywhere but at Harry's long legs, firm ass and broad back, but his efforts turned out to be useless and he ended up oogling Harry shamelessly.

Louis sat beside his mum when he got back to the living room. She was smiling wider, sensing the change of atmosphere between him and her best friend's curly haired son. She had no though that the atmosphere had turned to something along the lines of lust and nothing like the surrender and forgiveness she was hoping for.

“Did she wake up?” Jay asked.

“Hmm?”

“Daisy,” She smiled.

“Oh, she didn't.”

“You took quite long though,” Anne offered, glancing between Harry and Louis with a satisfied expression.

“Louis and I decided to have some bonding time, right, Lou?”

Louis almost choked on his tea and dropped his biscuit onto the porcelain with a loud noise. “Yeah. Bonding.” He nodded and Harry let out a loud, extremely unattractive yet cute chuckle.

“You drove here right, honey? In Zayn's car?” Jay asked, eyes fixed on her son.

“Yeah,”

“Well, Anne drove Harry here since she was already conveniently shopping in the city. But since you're here and Anne lives just around the corner, you might as well save her the hassle and drop Harry off on your way home?”

Louis just stared at her, giving her the what-the-hell-are-you-doing look.

“You and Harry live so close!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah, okay, I'll drive him,” He muttered, cursing inwardly because Harry's smirk was clearly evident. Now Louis would definitely not be able to resist him.

“Thanks, Louis,” Anne said, “That is really sweet of you.”

“I'm nothing if not sweet,” He replied with a perfect smile and he was certain he heard Harry snort. It was quite rude of him and he wanted to maybe leap over and 'playfully' punch him, but he couldn't. Maybe later though, when the mums were gone.

“I'm headed home now,” Anne said and turned to her son, “I'll see you soon alright, love?” She kissed him on the forehead lightly, hugged Louis across the coffee table and followed Jay out to the entrance where they exchanged their goodbyes.

“Smirks doesn't suit you.” Louis snapped at Harry.

“Then come here and wipe it off me,” Harry retorted, challenging Louis.

Harry puckered his lips and Louis was slightly taken aback at his response He blinked quickly, hands starting to fidget.

Harry just laughed.

This was getting absolutely ridiculous, Louis thought. Usually, he was the one to lead the conversation, embark sassy comments and make fun of other people till they got so fed up that they left. That was how it was – that was how Louis socialised. Of course, it was different with his family and people who were so uninteresting he didn't even bother with them. Harry was also different. Harry was perfect. Harry knew everything about Louis. It made it extremely difficult for him to know how to act around Harry, especially because Harry knew exactly what to say to leave him completely dumbfounded. He wasn't sure how to handle it, much less how to handle Harry himself. Louis couldn't for the life of him, figure out what to do and it was getting too much, too frustrating. He couldn't even ask anybody for advice – not even Zayn because he definitely wasn't going to tell him voluntarily what had been going on – because this was an altogether different kind of problem. One that no one who didn't know Harry very well knew how to deal with. No, Louis was alone with this problem.

The silence seemed to get the better of harry because he suddenly mumbled, “Can we leave now? I've got homework,” He looked down, straightening out his Pink Floyd t-shirt.

“You have _some_ nerve,”

 “Ah, I'm just getting started,”

Harry maybe didn't know that what he'd said held a small promise of a future, a future Louis was most likely a part of. Louis definitely knew though, or maybe he was just hallucinating things. “Then get your lazy ass up,” Louis said.

Harry quirked an eyebrow, probably as surprised as Louis at his sudden participation in the banter.

“Mum, thanks for the food, it was really good,” Louis said pulling Jay into an embrace as she came back into the living room. “We're going to head home now. Harry has homework or something.”

“Promise to come back soon, boobear?” She cooed.

Sparing himself the embarrassment he kept his eyes as far as way from Harry as possible as he said, “I promise. Bye, mum.”

“Bye, sweetie,” She kissed his cheek before letting go and moving on to kiss Harry's cheeks, “Thank you for coming, Harry, drive safe.”

“Bye, Jay, I'll see you soon.” He smiled in response.

The two boys told the girls who were still awake goodbye as well, before slipping on their shoes at the door and headed out, closing the front door quietly behind them.

“Can I drive, boobear?” Harry asked with a hint of laugh about to explode from him.

“Fuck no.”

“It's not even your car!”

“But it's not even yours either!?” Louis exclaimed, making an exasperated gesture towards the black car as they walked around it. Louis was backing away, Harry was stepping forward with smugness gleaming in those ridiculously beautiful green eyes.

“Please?” Harry was pouting now. His plump bottom lip was sticking out and pictures of him sucking Louis' cock like there was no tomorrow suddenly flashed before Louis' eyes. He reached down to adjust himself in his tight jeans, receiving a stupid grin from Harry.

In what felt like a fraction of a second Harry bolted forward and crashed right into Louis, trying to get a hold of him, and pinning him against the car. He even got his hands halfway down Louis' pockets, in search for the keys, before Louis managed to wrestle himself out of Harry's grip to set off into a run. It was dark now and they were running around laughing stupidly as if they were fucking _Tom and Jerry_ or something. Unfortunately though, Harry was stronger than Louis, bigger and taller even, which was quite upsetting and quite arousing at the same time. Harry got the keys from Louis, managing to graze his erection trough his pants as Harry dug into the front pockets of his jeans.

“You little shit,” Louis seethed.

Harry was dangling the keys in the older boy's face, laughing goofily with his eyes turning lazy again, a stark contrast to the crazed, pupil-wide eyes he had had when he had chased Louis down the street. Louis reached out for the keys, but Harry withdrew and Louis sighed.

The atmosphere was shifting again, the same way it had changed after what happened in Louis' old room. The air had returned to that fragile state and the tinkling was back in his fingertips. Harry stepped forward after putting the keys in his back pocket and Louis just stayed frozen in place, waiting for whatever move he would take next. The younger boy was circling Louis in his arms once again and Louis stood up on his toes to place a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth. Harry put his hand to the other boy's cheek though, forcing him to stay in place so Harry could kiss him, with slightly parted lips and a hand clutching the fabric by his left hip. In all honesty, this was almost the best part; the slow, lazy kissing where Louis really had the chance to fully concentrate on the taste of Harry and memorise every single small detail.

Their bodies felt lost in the heat, but reality came crashing back forcefully though, when Louis' phone went off in the front pocket of his jeans. Harry backed away, lips in a tight line now and not slightly parted and breathing against Louis. The emptiness suddenly felt suffocating.

Fucking phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Louis! It's Stan. I was just calling to see if you got my message,”

“Uhm, yeah, I got it,” He murmured and glanced up at Harry whose hands were now in fists. He wasn't looking at Louis anymore and it was too quiet, there was no background noise to overpower Stan's overexcited voice. Louis knew that Harry could hear everything.

“So what do you say?”

“Can I call you back?” Louis said, licking his lips nervously, “I'm kind of busy.”

There was hesitation on the other end of the line. He could feel it. “... Of course, any time.”

“Great! Talk to you later.”

He hung up before Stan could say anything else, and held his breath as he waited for the everlasting silence to break. He didn't look up as he sensed movement and Harry opened the car and got in. For a minute or so, Louis just stared into thin air and contemplated what the fuck he had ever done to get on the bad side of karma.

It was a silent car ride until Harry spoke with a grave voice, hands softening around the steering wheel, “Do you like him?”

“I don't know.”

“He likes you, though.”

“You think so?” It was a rhetorical question, one that wasn't meant to be answered.  Harry took the hint and didn't answer it. He kept quiet and the tension started to increase rapidly. Louis wanted to throw himself out of the car, may be he'd die and would never have to think about the curly haired boy ever again.

“Is your mum happy?” Harry suddenly asked.

“Yeah,” Louis muttered after he'd thought about his question, “She's got the girls and I think that's all she has time and energy for right now.”

Harry hummed in response and Louis sighed once they turned down highway M1 and realised he only had about twenty minutes left to relieve the irrational feeling of guilt that was gnawing in his bones. It was quite frankly a very stupid situation he had gotten himself into and he started to wonder if any of this had ever made any sense at all? What confused him even further was the change of mood – when will Harry even decide he wasn't angry anymore and for what reason? Why was Harry even angry in the first place?

“What is your deal, Harry?” Louis said through gritted teeth, surprising himself at how aggravated he sounded and how bold he had suddenly become – something that didn't happen in Harry's presence, something that wasn't a necessity with him, usually.

“What? You think I have some kind of secret agenda?”

“I don't know what I think, Harry. Because you're confusing me and I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Louis was staring hard at Harry, as if his brain would magically open and words would stream out in a steady flow, but Harry just kept his gaze on the road with flared nostrils and brows furrowed in a rather horrifying grimace. It was like that for a while, until he finally spoke.

“I... I'm sorry about what happened all those years ago. I was stupid and a really bad friend, I should never have done that, disposed you like that – I'm so, I'm so fucking sorry, Lou.”

“We were kids,” Louis reasoned.

“That doesn't make it okay. I was horrible.”

“Look, I don't care what happened then. I moved on ages ago and I have other friends now. Frankly, I don't need you in my life.”

“I know,” Harry nodded slowly, briefly glancing at the other boy with wide eyes, “I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry.”

“Okay.”

And then it was silent again and Louis started tapping meaningless rhythms against the door handle with the tip of his thumb. They were less than ten minutes from Louis' flat now and he realised that he had no clue where Harry actually lived. He wanted him to explain the rest of it – the anger, the gentle kisses, the shoving and pulling, the whispers, the yelling, the way he so desperately clung onto Louis' hips whenever Louis began to pull away. He knew he couldn't live in oblivion for much longer, especially not after tonight.

The blue eyed boy almost jumped in his seat when he realised Harry had parked Zayn's car in front of a rather posh looking building, shocked that the time he had been given had already run out.

 “I'll see you around,” Harry muttered, feebly attempting a smile as he looked at Louis before getting out of the car.

Louis groaned and pushed his head back against the seat as he watched Harry making his way towards the door to his building. He was walking so slowly, so carefully placing one foot in front of the other, as if he was walking on a line across a spluttering volcano. Louis was concentrating hard on not letting his inner drama queen out, who would probably scream or sob uncontrollably, so he turned the radio up, relishing in the distraction. It took him a while to get himself out of his paralysed condition, so he could get out of the passenger seat and into the driver's seat. Why the hell did Harry drive in the first place? The bastard thought he could manipulate and control Louis, which had also been true for however long they had had interferences with each other, but it was over, Louis decided. He was done giving in to the green eyes that always shone like fucking disco balls – it was rather distracting – but hell no.

He stomped inside his flat, suddenly feeling furious – with Harry, with himself, with everyone. He slammed the door shut behind him, kicked his toms to the side of the hallway and didn't bother to stop his pace when he saw Zayn and Liam cuddled up on the couch. Not even when Zayn began with the “Hey, Lou, do you wanna – Lou? What's going on?”, but simply keeping Zayn from saying anything further by locking himself into his bedroom. He started taking off his jumper and his trouser, discarding them as far away from him as possible. Louis was certain they smelled faintly like frosting.

He suddenly regretted making the rude entrance that he did, because now he had too much pride to go back out there so he could get to the bathroom and wash the remains of Harry off him. He grabbed the nearest object instead – a text book for history class – and hurled it across his room, a few papers tearing out of it as it hit the western wall of his room. He clenched his jaw and stared at the torn pages for a few minutes before turning off the light and crawling under his duvet, hands still trembling. He bit into his pillow, thoughts in his head saying _don't cry, don't cry, don't cry_.

 


	4. Chapter 4

“Louis?” A familiar voice cooed beside him.

“What?” He grumbled into his duvet.

“We have to go to class,”

“Fuck,” He muttered, rolling over and into Zayn's lap. Hands were immediately sliding through his hair and he automatically leaned into the touch.

“Just get up now, alright?”

He groaned and clung to Zayn as if his life depended on it. “Can we please stay home?”

“No, Lou, you're not even sick.”

“Oh, and who made you the judge of that?”

“Because being in love is not a disease, you tosser,”

Louis made a weird choking noise as he sat up abruptly like he'd just been electrified. “Excuse me?”

Zayn just smiled, “Awake now?”

“Piss off.”

“I made breakfast.”

Louis groaned again before getting out of bed as Zayn strutted back to the kitchen where he seemingly came from. He stripped off his boxers and walked to the bathroom, ignoring the whistle he received from Zayn as he saw his naked form. He let the water run down his skin even though it was steaming hot, but it was nothing like the burns Harry had left engraved on his skin. He closed his eyes as he imagined Harry's hand on him, the anger having slightly faded after a good night's sleep. He considered getting himself off, but decided he wasn't really ready for that. Not right now.

As promised Zayn had made breakfast ready and even Louis' favourite earl grey tea, which was much needed. Zayn was looking at him intently, and Louis started fidgeting, realising he'd have to tell him everything. It was rare that Zayn got demanding with him - since he never really gave a fuck about whatever stupid, meaningless problem he had gotten himself into - but this was different – even Zayn knew that.

“Did you guys fuck?” Zayn asked out of the blue, sucking a piece of orange into his mouth.

“What? No!”

“Then what happened?”

“It's a long story and we have to go to class, like you said, so let's –”

“No,” Zayn cut him off, “I woke you up half an hour earlier than usual, so we'd have time to talk. I'm done playing games with you, Tomlinson. You _will_ tell me whatever the hell is going on with you and Stan.”

“ _Stan_?!”

“Well, I'll admit I'm rather surprised myself. Didn't really think he'd be your type,” He muttered, sucking another cut out piece of orange.

“Stan is definitely not my type,” Louis confirmed, “We've only been on that one date and I'm kind of avoiding him.”

“Then who the hell is it you're sneaking around with that's gotten you so upset?” The dark haired boy looked extremely confused and exasperated at Louis' unwillingness to give out any details, before realisation suddenly dawned on him and his mouth went agape.

Louis quickly gulped down some tea and buttered up a piece of toast, taking a bizarrely big bite and waiting for Zayn to say something.

“You and _Harry Styles_ have a thing going on, don’t you?”

“There's no _me and Harry_.”

“But there kind of is,” Zayn protested, “Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

“Because we're not a _thing_!”

“Then explain everything and prove me wrong, yeah?”

Zayn had gotten him right where he wanted him. Louis cursed himself for being so stupid for what might be the hundredth time in these past few days. “We snogged at the party, you saw that. Then we snogged in the men's toilets at uni a while after that, and we snogged that Sunday morning I dropped you off at Liam's. We might have snogged last night too in my old room at my mum's house and he might have _givenmeablowjob_.”

Zayn just stared at him for a few seconds, the shock so clearly displayed on his sharp facial features. “That doesn't really explain why you were so pissed. A blow job usually cheers people up.”

“Because...” Louis began and caught his bottom lip with his teeth, “He keeps changing! One minute he's happy and flirty and the next he's angry and yelling at me – for no reason! I have done _nothing_ to reason any of his sudden mood swings. I swear to God, Zayn, I did not initiate _any_ of this.”

“Let me guess,” Zayn said, a smug smile lurking, “You're upset because he is the first bloke who even has the slightest bit of control over you?”

“What? No.”

“Again, I'm doubting your so called acting skills. You're a horrible liar.”

“Fine, maybe a little bit, but that's not the only reason!” Louis said, reluctant to surrender entirely.

“Enlighten me, Lou,”

Louis turned his gaze to his plate and nibbled at his napkin, thinking he shouldn’t tell Zayn everything in the first place.

Louis knew, though, that he couldn't escape this as much as he hated admitting his feelings even though it was his best friend and even though he was usually so blunt. But this was different, because it was Harry and he was _the exception._

“I think I like him... But I don't want to.”

“Why not?” Zayn questioned.

The seconds ticked by quickly as Louis thought about his answer and finally said, “He drives me crazy. He always has; always will.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

Louis arched an eyebrow at his best friend and sighed when he saw that his expression was as neutral as expected.

“You know, actually talking to each other instead of just sticking your tongues down each other’s throats could be a good idea sometimes.” Zayn finally said, finishing his orange juice. He had never liked tea, much to Louis' horror. The tea thing was probably what they had fought most about throughout their long friendship. Stupid, really, Louis thought, but fun nonetheless.

“You don't think I've tried that?” Louis exclaimed with wild hand movements, “It's even worse now, anyway. I mean, how am I supposed to concentrate on talking to him? Did you ever _look_ at him? He looks like… a sex God.”

“I don't know, Lou, maybe you should try to contain the horny teenager inside you for once.”

“I _do not_ have a horny teenager inside me.”

Now it was Zayn turn to arch an eyebrow with a sceptical look.  “ _Lou_.”

“Zayyynnnnn.”

“Can you please just fucking listen to me and maybe consider taking my advice for once, please?”

“Fine, get on with it.”

Zayn stared at him thoughtfully for a full minute before finally licking and his lips and saying, “I can tell that you like him a lot, so I understand why you're freaking out like this, because this must be the first time you've ever wanted anything else than sex with a bloke, right?”

Louis mouth turned into a tight line as he nodded curtly and very reluctantly.

“So you talk to him. You tell him how you feel. If he likes you too, then great, if he doesn't then that sucks but you will move on eventually.”

“It's not that _simple_ , Zayn,”

“Why not?”

“I don't know, but there is no way I can just walk up to him and tell him how I feel.”

“Fine. Don't tell him then, but at least talk to him.” Zayn said earnestly.

“Fine. Tomorrow, maybe next week or next year or -”

“ _Today_ ,” Zayn said firmly before sliding out of his chair, “Now come on or we'll be late for class.”

Louis let out a whining noise before obeying and retreating to his room to get his bag and shake off the nervousness he definitely did not feel at all. No.

They didn't talk more about Harry until they were sitting at the same lunch table as him. Louis harshly whispered into Zayn's ear that this was not becoming a regular thing or he'd find new friends. Zayn just smirked, wished him good luck and Louis felt his annoyance fade rapidly when Zayn turned to Liam after their exchange, to look at him with such adoration it made him want to tear up. How gross. He only had to turn his about a half meter to the right to see Harry sitting there in all his glory with thin silver necklaces casting shadows on his collarbone and eyes shooting sparks like the sky on New Years Eve. How gross as well.

Then there was Stan. Honestly, Louis would almost rather throw himself off of a bridge rather than indulge in another conversation with that lad for quite obvious reasons. Even though he had never called or texted Stan back that night he had completely ruined the moment he was having with Harry, Stan was happily ranting about whatever as if everything was great, as if he still thought he had a chance although he'd never had one in the first place.

“Are you?”

“What?” Louis muttered dazedly, eyes snapping back to look at Stan.

“Are you ready for the game? This weekend?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Great. Now Stan would spend the next eternity talking bullshit about strategies and team mates he wanted thrown off the team that apparently weren't good enough in his opinion. Not like this lunch break wasn’t shit not already because Harry wasn’t even acknowledging Louis’ presence. He looked exactly like he didn’t give two shits about anything and the worst part was that it drew Louis in. It made him hunger after seeing emotion in his eyes, emotion for Louis.

He stared at Harry whenever he got the chance and Harry never returned his gaze, so there was none of those slightly awkward moments where the both of them would blush and look down. Instead Louis just watched Harry staring off into the non-existent horizon, because this was a _cafeteria_ and the walls were a spotless, chilly white – there was absolutely nothing interesting to look at, except the stream of students piling in, but Louis knew that he definitely wasn't looking at that. Harry soon started drumming his fingers against the edge of the table in a fast, uneven rhythm and Louis gritted his teeth, trying to keep his anger at bay and force his gaze out of the danger zone.

“Can I talk to you, Louis?” Harry asked out of the blue and his voice felt so loud, like it was louder than any other noise in the cafeteria.

Carefully, Louis nodded, a million thoughts going through his mind at once.

Harry walked towards the northern corridor of the university and turned abruptly around a corner. He startled Louis when he suddenly grasped his hand and pulled him into a small room with papers stacked up in every corner. Notebooks, folders, pens, glue and scissors. Louis inwardly sighed of relief, because he wouldn't have handled this if he'd been pulled into a janitor's closet. It was just too fucking cliché.

Harry's eyes were filled with emotion, so shiny like he'd just been crying.

“What do you want?” Louis uttered in a shaky breath.

But Harry didn't say anything, simply closed the space between them so quickly it felt painful as their skin touched in that crazy electrifying way. They weren't kissing, just breathing. Louis was wearing Jean Paul Gaultier. Harry was just clean skin wrapped around the older, but smaller boy.

“I need you so much,” Harry whispered back and it was ridiculous. So stupid. Louis fucking lived off of this – whenever Harry would open up and let him in.

Their lips finally reunited, fingers intertwining in hair, chests pressed against each other so tightly, as if they were trying to kill even the smallest space of air between them.

“Harry,” Louis said against plump lips.

“What?” The curly haired boy breathed in response as he rode up Louis' shirt – at the hips, always at the hips.

“You need to stop.”

“Please, don't say –“

“Harry, stop.”

He pulled away with wide, innocent eyes and Louis heart broke a little. He started wondering when the fuck he'd become such a sensitive idiot. This was not like him.

“I'm not going to be like Zayn.”  
“What?”

“I'm not going to be your _fucking secret_.”

Harry furrowed his brows, the anger finally taking over, because that was easier. It had always been easier that way. “You're not my secret. You're not even mine.” He mumbled, tight lipped.

”Then tell me what we're doing in here!”

”Stan is my mate and I don't want to fuck things up, it's just...” Harry paused and looked intently at Louis, “Just tell me if you really like him? I'll stop. But if you don't... I'm not sure I can stop.”

”I don't like, Stan. I never did.”

Harry blinked once, twice, but then just nodded and clasped his hands in front of himself. Louis fought the urge to just leap into his arms and kiss him again, but restrained and kept his gaze trained calmly on Harry.

”Wanna go somewhere?”

Louis had art class coming up but he'd do anything to not go to class and he definitely wasn't going to pass up the chance to be with Harry. So he nodded slowly, giving the right amount of assurance in the depth of his blue eyes.

He didn't know where they were going, but he was freezing. The cold weather was paling his skin into a slightly blue sickening colour that was now peeking out under the layer that suddenly looked flimsy. He shuddered at the sight and prayed that Harry would hold him later, make him feel the heat again. They were in Harry's car and he was driving again. He drove drowsily, taking wide, dangerous turns that got Louis' adrenaline pumping. Harry's knuckles were white around the steering wheel – he was always so white, except for the eyes. His eyes were constantly changing from smouldering, to radiant, to blazing and then back to smouldering again. It was alarming, Louis thought, but exhilarating nonetheless.

Harry cut the engine when they arrived in Greenwich and Louis could feel his heavy breathing against his cheek. They were parked in the nearest parking lot to Greenwich Park. They had come here a lot when they were younger and enjoyed using the big playground located in the park. Their mothers had sat at the benches close to the playground with steaming organic tea in their hands from the Pavilion Tea House, and Jay always brought home baked biscuits. Always. But their mothers weren't here now and there were no biscuits. Louis even doubted the Tea House was open this time of the year.

They talked about the weather as they made their way to the park – for no reason, per se, but Louis didn't feel cold any more. He couldn't remember the last time he had been in this park, but he imagined Harry came here regularly with his friends along with blankets and pints, maybe a radio set on XFM. People mostly came here in the summer or when a thin layer of snow was covering the ground; enough snow to make snowballs. It wasn't summer now nor had it snowed yet.

The Tea House was open though.

“We should get tea,” Louis said.

Harry smiled when he followed Louis' gaze. “Good idea.”

They both ordered the earl grey tea and the lady behind the counter smiled at them as she passed them their plastic mugs. They sat down on a bench in the park with their knees touching and the tea was organic and steaming just like Louis remembered it. He suddenly felt angsty when he realised he was on the bench now and not playing around, but then it was kind of okay anyway, because Harry wasn't playing either. He was on the bench too.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked and he sounded content, hoarse, so much like _Harry_.

“Our mums brought us here a lot. Do you remember?”

“Of course I remember. We always crawled up in that tree,” Harry pointed towards one not far from where they were sitting, one that was taller than the others, “They went frantic when we crawled up there and they couldn't find us.”

The blue eyed boy laughed at the memory and sipped his tea, burning the tip of his tongue. It was all quite wonderful. “I was quite a bad influence, wasn't I? Little Harry would never do such things on his own.”

Harry chuckled, “I'm fairly sure that if our mums weren't so close, my mum would've told me I couldn't be friends with you.”

“You're probably right.”

They weren't going to talk about why they stopped being friends. Neither of them wanted to talk about it anymore. It was forgotten.

They talked some more about childhood memories, avoiding all the negative ones and focusing on the positive ones. It was kind of cheesy, but Louis didn't care. They finished the tea quickly to keep warm, to hold onto something.

Before Louis knew it, his head was on Harry's shoulder and they were sharing breaths again. They didn't say much, but their lips touched occasionally and time went still. The kisses were just as languid as Harry himself, but everything was heated up as expected.

They walked back to the car hand in hand sometime later when the Tea House had closed and the darkness of a winter evening started creeping out.

 

<> 

 

Zayn was sitting at the dinner table when Louis came home. Almost all light was out, nothing but the sharp light from Zayn's laptop cutting through the blackness, save for the soft moonlight entering through windows.

“You're smiling,” The dark haired boy noted absently, eyes never leaving the screen.

“You look like shit,”

“No wonder, Lou, I'm studying economics. Makes you feel pretty shitty.”

“Where's your boyfriend?”

“Studying as well,” Zayn retorted then grinned up at Louis, “Where's yours?”

“I don't have a boyfriend, Zayn. I would never betray you like that,” Louis sighed and shook off his coat before settling onto Zayn's lap.

“Yes, you would,”

“Would _not_.”

“I'm studying, Lou, get off me,”

Louis gasped dramatically and jumped out of Zayn's lap, feigning horror, “I'm giving you the opportunity of having my precious insured bum in very close proximity to your dick and you're _refusing_ it?”

“You should be responsible like me and stu –“

“Don't say it!”

“Sss –“

“Lalalala!”

“You're a child,” Zayn said, but finally breaking into laughter at Louis' ridiculousness as Louis sauntered to the kitchen and gasped again at the empty pizza box.

“You ate an entire pizza?!”

“Mhm,” the dark haired boy replied, eyes focused on the laptop screen again.

“I need new friends.”

“Love you.”

“You'll have to do better than that, Malik.” Louis said but gave him a cheek kiss as he passed him to go to his room. He sighed at the mess that was his room and decided he'd clean it all up tomorrow, knowing he couldn't stick to it and would probably end up eating ice cream with a movie on instead. Despite the early hour, he was feeling quite drained and in the definite need of cuddly time with his duvet and with headphones plugged in. He stripped off, threw on boxers and his favourite t-shit to sleep in that was so old and had been washed so many times that the white fabric was so thin that it was just like wearing another layer of translucent skin. Perfect.

He felt weird. Yeah, weird was a reasonably good adjective to describe the current state of his emotions. It was easier to feel everything once he was down and once it was quiet. It wasn't a bad weird though, just weird in a way that was new and unfamiliar. The constant butterflies weren’t familiar – there was no way he could already have gotten used to that. He could definitely still feel it; especially the places Harry had touched Louis. Harry had been so very gentle at the park, caressing Louis' jawline and pressing soft kisses against his cheeks and occasionally against his lips. Shivers rippled through Louis at the thought and he knew he had to sleep before his imagination went out of hand. Not that it didn't already have.

 

<> 

The next day, a Wednesday, he groaned when he witnessed Liam basically sitting in Zayn's lap at a table in the cafeteria with the other lads seated at the same table as well, which included both Harry and Stan. He wanted to run off, but he wanted to talk to Harry again too and if he was being honest with himself the latter was quite powerful – powerful enough that he quickly trotted towards the table.

“Hey, Lou,” Stan said immediately as Louis appeared.

Harry was smiling at him. Louis would never get used to that – usually if they spotted each other at school Harry would be busy socialising with others or brooding to the side as if his puppy had just died.

“Hey, lads,” He said as he plopped himself down next to Harry, every part of his body tensing up in a thrill at the close proximity.

“Hi,” Harry muttered so closely to Louis' ear that Louis swore he could feel his upper lip graze his earlobe.

Louis smiled back shyly at the over confident boy and took a sip of his juice box.

“So, did you hear?” Stan asked.

“Hear what?”

“The match got moved from Saturday till tomorrow.”

“ _Tomorrow_?” Louis exclaimed. He didn't feel prepared; his mind was still a jumble of thoughts that kept overlapping in a way that was almost painful. But it was getting better now because things with Harry were working out and they both knew it wasn't just a fling. It would be okay.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” Liam confirmed, his eyes leaving Zayn's lips and cheekbones for the first time in five minutes.

“But the matches are always on weekends...”

“We'll be fine,” Harry assured and patted Louis' knee under the table. The gesture – and the fact that Harry was actually _talking_ to Louis in _public_ – sent him into a whirlwind of emotions.

“Yeah, you're right.” Louis gave him a content smile and tried not to look for too long at those pink lips.

They finished their lunch and suddenly eating lunch at Harry's table seemed to pass quickly – probably because Harry was for once acknowledging Louis' presence. It made Louis feel giddy and he liked that. In fact, that entire Wednesday felt funny, nice – _good_. Right until the moment they had all finished their afternoon classes and were dressed in football uniforms with grass and dirt on their knees.

“Good work, Tommo!” Stan roared. He was left mid-fielder, Louis was right mid-fielder and they had always worked together well. Stan was never one for compliments though, but today they were being thrown constantly and directly to Louis. Louis had to admit that it was quite motivating, especially because Stan used to just insult his football skills.

They had been playing a training match and the coach had split them into two teams. Louis, Zayn, Stan and Liam on one team and Harry, Nick and Aiden on the other – plus some of the other team-mates, but none Louis really gave much for, not in those moments anyway. Things tended to get pretty heated whenever they had these sort of training matches and someone always ended up fighting.

“Alright, lads, let's take a short break. Get some water, yeah?” The coach shouted from the side lines before reaching for his notebook to scribble down whatever the hell he scribbled down on that stupid notebook he always carried around.

Stan was by Louis side before Louis could even blink.

“You're doing amazing today!”

“Thanks, Stan,” Louis smiled, reaching down to tie his left shoelaces. He didn't notice that Stan very obviously checked out his ass as he reached down and unintentionally put it on full display. “Hopefully it will last 'till the game tomorrow,” He continued easily.

“I know it will!” Stan replied before pulling him into a tight unexpected hug that made him go completely rigid, because it felt like this was overstepping boundaries. Their crotches were fucking _touching_ and he could feel Stan's hands close on either side of Louis' hips – it just felt _wrong_ in so many ways.

“That's, um, nice of you to say,”

Stan pulled away, a satisfied smirk on his lips. “You're welcome.”

“Stan, get your hands off Louis! Get back in position!” Coach shouted, “Nick! Position, _now_.” He put his notebook back in his pocket, “Now I want to see some energy, alright? Get to it!”

Then the whistle sounded and Louis shot after the ball, catching Harry's eyes briefly and his mind went completely blank; Harry looked fucking pissed, even Louis could see that despite the fact that Harry was a striker and he was running a good ten metres from where Louis was. It made him halt to a stop as he tried to remember what the fuck he'd done to piss Harry off like that, because it wasn’t just the eyes that were shooting angry sparks, but he was fucking trembling and his cheeks were an alarming shade of red.

Zayn quickly noticed Louis's distraction and continued his spurt for the ball before passing it to Stan who dribbled down the field, getting dangerously close to the goal. Harry – Harry who wasn't even a defender – was suddenly in the defenders area not far from their goal keeper, eyes turned determinedly towards Stan, before he bolted forward right into him with so much force that Louis was sure he heard a bone cracking noise. They were both on the ground in an instant, a mess of limbs and mud.

Louis ran forward once he'd comprehend what had just happened, sighing in relief when he noticed that there was no blood and was finally able to let anger surge through his body. “What the fuck, Harry!?” Louis yelled.

“Yeah, what the fuck, Harry?” Stan croaked, “Shit, get off me, you wanker,”

Harry got up with a little effort, but he looked completely untouched, he wasn't smirking or smiling neither was his mouth in a tight line anymore; his face just looked completely lost of emotion.

“You're too focused on the ball,” He said, shrugging.

“ _Too focused on the ball_? Are you _kidding_ me, Styles?”

“Does it look like I'm fucking kidding?” Harry retorted and his nostrils were suddenly flared again.

But Stan didn't get to reply because the coach had grabbed Harry by the collar of his shirt and was dragging him towards the side lines. “Stan, quit whining and get up! Back to work!” Coach shouted and blew in the whistle around his neck. Harry looked like a grumpy child with his arm crossed stubbornly across his chest, especially as the coach started lecturing him and scolding him for letting whatever problems in his personal life upset him on the field, because that wasn't _professional_.

Louis played the rest of their training match decently and Stan kept motivating and complimenting him even though he was obviously distracted now, because Harry had permanently locked his eyes on Louis from where he was standing on the side lines, arms still crossed. Not that Stan noticed that.

“Good work today, lads!” Coach said, “Get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow for a great match.”

Louis watched as they all scurried inside for the locker rooms, specifically eyeing Harry curiously, before going through his usual routine of helping the coach collect the stuff they had used for practice. “Have a nice night, alright, Louis?” Coach said before they separated outside the locker rooms.

“Yeah, thanks,”

He walked into the locker rooms, shocked when he saw a bag on one of the benches and could hear the water running in the showers. Everybody was usually gone by the time Louis arrived but today he had an idea of two people who might be in the showers waiting for him; either Harry or Stan. Louis obviously hoped for the latter but he wouldn’t be surprised if karma had decided to play tricks on him and put a naked Stan in there.

Louis couldn't breathe as Harry came into vision, a small towel wrapped around his hips just below the v-curve, with beads of water dropping onto his naked shoulders from his wet hair and rolling down his taught shoulder muscles. He had a big tattoo of a ship on his upper left arm that Louis had never noticed before. It made him bite his lip, hard.

The sexual tension in the room was palpable as it grew from zero to a zillion in a matter of seconds. As Louis turned for his locker and started undressing, he could hear Harry shuffle around with his bag. He grabbed his towel and his shampoo before heading for the shower, passing Harry on his way, still with no words spoken between them.

He didn't stand there for long, however, before he could feel Harry's presence in the shower area and he grew self-conscious – having an inner battle between facing him or letting Harry have a good look at his ass – but his internal debate didn’t run for long before Harry was pressed against Louis entire backside with his hands desperately clutching Louis' hips as if it was his last chance to do so.

“His hands were on your hips,” Harry growled and it was more of a statement rather than a question.

“You don't own me,”

“I do. Kind of,” He said into Louis' ear before biting into the flesh by his shoulder followed by his tongue soothing the slight sting.

“What the fuck was that with Stan?”

“I was just teaching him a lesson,”

“By almost putting him in the hospital?”

“Mhmmm,” He hummed against Louis' wet skin, sweeping his lips over the nape of his neck, as his right hand slipped further down and onto his ass cheeks to give a slight squeeze. Louis could feel Harry's erection against his lower backside, the head rubbing against his slick skin. Then Harry's right hand moved to his nipples, rubbing them with his thumbs and adding just the right amount of pressure, still with Harry's left hand gripping his ass cheek.

Louis twisted around in the other boy's grip and caught his lips, kissing him fiercely with teeth clashing, heated gasps and lots and lots of angry hair pulling. He tried to ignore the fact that Harry's cock was sliding up and down his own every now and then. It getting fucking frustrating though because he wanted to get off so bad – so, so bad – especially with Harry like this, angry and possessive. That was pretty damn sexy. Louis really liked that dark red colour of arousal in his cheeks.

“Fuck, Louis,” Harry whispered into Louis' mouth, running his hand up and down his back, “You're so fucking fit, so fucking – ugh.”

Louis was up against the wall now, their cocks trapped between them and it was just too much. They hadn't even _done_ anything and Louis felt paralysed, caught up in the tsunami tides of emotions that were rushing over him, but Harry didn't seem bothered. He seemed perfectly capable of fucking Louis right then and there against the cold wall even though there was a big chance of them slipping on the wet tiles and maybe breaking a few limbs as well.

“Haz,”

“Mhm?”

“Can you stop –“

“Are you going to run off on me again?” Harry muttered against Louis' neck now, causing more shivers to ripple through Louis' already weak body.

“Not exactly,”

“Then what?”

“Can we not do this _here_?”

He began to suck on Louis' collarbone, seeming completely uncaring about Louis' protests.

“I mean it.”

“Fine,” Harry grunted, pressing a chaste kiss to the bruising mark he'd left before saying, “My place then – and fucking hurry.”

The blue eyed boy nodded eagerly and then Harry turned around and walked away purposefully. Louis watched as he grabbed his towel from the hanger and dried himself off for the second time. Finally Louis recollected his thoughts and washed himself thoroughly knowing exactly what would happen very shortly in Harry's bed – the thought alone left him completely restless and trembling with excitement. It had been a while too, not counting the blowjob Harry gave him in his childhood room because really that only teased him and left him wanting more. Louis tried to think of disgusting stuff like period blood and Susan Boyle in a bikini, but nothing was working and his erection was painfully and constantly throbbing. It was awkward when he had to squeeze into his tight jeans and he sort of regretted not wearing sweat pants that morning – he'd only chosen those tight jeans for Harry's sake because his bum looked particularly delicious in them. Apparently, they had worked perfectly fine.

Harry's hair was still wet when they walked out and he said, “Get in,” his demanding voice speaking to Louis’ dick, and his dick only. They didn't talk as Harry drove and Louis felt grateful because he wasn't sure he could keep himself collected if the small crammed space of the car was suddenly occupied with the sound of Harry's low, hoarse voice. He was having troubles as it was with discretely adjusting his aching hard on, simply by sitting within a few inches of Harry  and knowing what they would be doing in only a few minutes.

Once Harry had unlocked the door to his flat, they both threw their bags to the side before Harry grabbed the other boy's hand and guided him into his bedroom with very rough movements.

Harry pushed Louis down onto the bed, attacking him before Louis could take a breath, earning a gasp when he pulled away a minute later. After getting rid of the initial urgency in their actions, Harry became  slow – so slow, kissing and sucking Louis' already swollen lips as his hand tugged on the hair at the nape of his neck. His other hand trailed down Louis’ chest, gripping his pecs along the way before it finally enclosed on his crotch. Louis was gasping and moaning in hallow breaths against Harry's neck but his movements were restricted as Harry strapped him into the bed with his hands on Louis' hips, always on Louis' hips.

Not recalling when or how, Louis realised they were already both shirtless and only clad in their boxers, but those were also soon discarded into the invisible gloominess of the room.

“You're fucking beautiful,” Harry panted before attaching his lips to one of Louis' nipples as his hands continued circling and scratching at the jut of his hipbone, leaving red marks. Louis was squirming noisily under Harry's tongue which was wetly pressing and licking around his nipple before Harry started using his teeth, causing goosebumps all over Louis' naked body.

“ _Harry_ ,” Louis whimpered impatiently, arching his back in an attempt to follow Harry’s touch.

“I know,”

The younger boy clasped his hand around Louis' erection, but continued sucking on his nipples, as Louis' fingers entangled into curls and tugged roughly. Louis felt as if his limbs were melting into fire as Harry's hand increased its speed, his thumb circling the head and putting just the right amount of pressure on his leaking slit. Harry's hand was sticky with pre-cum as he brought it up to his mouth to lick his thumb.

“You taste amazing,” He whispered and slid his hands under Louis to squeeze his ass and spreading his cheeks a bit.

“Shit, Harry,” Louis panted, “I need to suck you off. Can I?”

“Fuck – yeah, babe, yes.” Harry's response was quick, he flipped them around and his grip loosened on Louis allowing him to slide down Harry's long toned body. Louis had been waiting for this – he'd been disappointed when he didn't get to taste Harry back at the dinner at his mum's house. But it was worth the wait, because it was better like this, it was unrushed and he'd have the time to be thorough, to lick every inch of Harry's cock.

Louis lowered himself, starting off slow as he sucked on Harry's sensitive head, earning moans from the younger boy. He swirled his tongue slowly, letting the taste of the salty surface settle on Louis' wet tongue, before releasing it, to lick from the base and up to dip the tip of his tongue into his slit. Harry whimpered, bucking his hips up when Louis had his cock sheathed within his mouth again, causing Louis to gag on his massive length. So the older boy reached up with his hands to press them against his abdomen and his hips to keep him in place.

“Don't stop,” Harry gasped before clenching his teeth forcefully to keep himself in control. It was all the encouragement Louis needed to increase his pace, sucking harder and trying to relax his throat so he could go deeper, but Harry was fucking  _big_  and Louis' vision was blurring rapidly with each move.

“God, Lou, your… m-mouth is fucking amazing.”

Louis revelled in the fact that he could make Harry feel this way. He kept going for a while, taking Harry’s length into his throat as deep as he could before rising back up as he caressed the areas he couldn’t reach with his short but lean fingers, until his jaw began to feel tight and sore  It was perfectly timed because suddenly Harry's hands were in Louis' hair, tugging him away.

“If you don't stop now, I'm gonna cum, babe.”

Louis slowed down his pace. He glanced up and saw the way Harry was looking down at him with eyes a swimming pit of lust. He loved that he could do this to Harry, and although Harry asked him to stop, Louis knew that he loved this as much as he did. He stayed between Harry’s legs ignoring his hands pulling at his hair, and started to tease Harry slower than before. After letting go of his Harry’s piece, he let his tongue work slowly at the underside of Harry's cock as it rested heavily on his lower abdomen. Louis smirked after achieving his goal; Harry collapsed onto the bed, the only sign of his pleasure was the tight grip he has on the sheets on either side of him.  Before Harry had time to recover, Louis pounced back up on top of him, rutting their hips together for delicious friction and rejoining their lips frantically. it felt amazing, Louis thought, more amazing than anything he'd ever felt before and everything was just a goddamn blur of inked skin and desperate gasps. It was confusing, dizzying but exhilarating and Louis just wanted more of it. His body felt unbelievably sensitive as Harry's fingers dug back into his skin, cupping his ass cheeks, spreading them and squeezing them.

“I need you to fuck me – shit – nghf,” Louis groaned, pulling Harry's hair in fists and thrusting his hips down before arching his ass into Harry’s hands for emphasis.

Harry grinned mischievously up at Louis, swiftly rolling them over so that he was on top before he  reached to rummage in his bedside drawer for a condom and some lube. He returned with his breath hot on Louis' neck as he pressed a gentle, lube covered finger against Louis' hole.

“Louis, have you ever…”

“Yeah – But I-I want you.” Louis wound his fingers into Harry’s curls as he closed his eyes and tried to direct all his focus to his throbbing erection, rather than the feeling of exposure he was getting from having a hand in his most private area that wasn't his own.

“Okay, just relax, baby.” Louis felt Harry’s movements before he opened his eyes and realized he’d grabbed a pillow and was placing it gently under Louis’ hips so that his ass was hoisted up; his feet resting on the bed as his legs fell to either side. He was completely exposed by this point but he found Harry staring tenderly back at him as his hands gently caressed up and down his thighs.

“Are you sure?” Harry spoke softly.

“Please... I need you, Harry.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and guided it down to his throbbing erection to show him just how much he was wanting this, and down to Harry’s own erection.

Finally determined, Harry returned to his task of poking and prodding at Louis’s hole because Louis was feeling more relaxed now, Harry was easily able to slip a finger inside him. He barely had time to enjoy and explore the tightness of Louis before Louis’ hips started moving in a rhythm, silently begging for more. As Harry worked on probing Louis with another finger, he looked up at him and witnessed his eyes close and his mouth open as if he were silently screaming.

Harry worked his two fingers in and out of Louis, matching the movements of his hips. At one point as Harry’s fingers reached deeper than before, Louis let out a strangle moan as his back arched up and his hips pushed his ass down onto Harry’s hand. Harry ignored his throbbing cock as he focused on bringing Louis even more pleasure. He was about to try to add another finger when Louis stopped him.

“I'm ready,” Louis gulped, “More.” He reached down and laced both his hands in his hair as he pulled him up to reunite their lips, trapping Harry down by wrapping his legs around his hips.

It was crazy how much he had been anticipating this very moment and he felt utterly overwhelmed with emotion, dizzy beyond everything. He wanted Harry  _so bad_ and he wasn't even embarrassed when he kept letting out noisy whimpers as Harry coated his cock with lube and gave himself a few hard strokes before positioning himself above Louis. He shut his eyes tightly as Harry leaned in closer, putting weight on his arms for leverage as he began to move with his breath sweeping over Louis' glistening skin. A moan escaped the older boy's lips as he felt the tip of Harry's length pushing against him. Harry  _really_  was big, it took them a while to get settled and they had to go slow, but Louis didn't mind because  _shit_. Harry was possibly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life – he was completely entranced in the way his upper lip was slightly sticking out, his pupils blown wide in lust and his pale ink covered skin was just dangerously inviting.

Harry's damp curls were fluttering across Louis’ forehead as he pushed fully inside him. Their chests were pressed together, heaving erratically in uneven pushy breaths. The apocalypse could've have broken out and neither of them would have noticed.

“You feel so good,” Harry muttered, lips brushing Louis' flushed cheeks, “So damn tight.”

He started moving then, but he was still slow with movements; eyes intensely focused on Louis. When Louis had finally adjusted to Harry's size he began to ask for more, beg for more, whispering Harry's name like a prayer or a mantra because it felt good on his lips; soothing, when everything else was on fire. And Harry gave it to him easily, sliding out of him and pushing back in with more force with each thrust and each time burying himself deep inside Louis. It was numbing, especially when Harry shifted a little, changing the angle so he began to hit Louis' prostate with each push. Even though Harry felt completely sheathed inside Louis, as he increased force and speed they could both feel that he dove deeper into Louis. The older boy hooked his feet together, eventually locking them behind Harry while his hands were still holding onto Harry's biceps, leaving behind small, round bruises.

Suddenly Louis gasped as Harry grabbed his erection between them and gave his cock some hard, fast strokes. The fire in Louis became impossibly warmer, like it was curling into the lower part of his stomach. Louis felt the hot spunk land on his stomach and eventually get smeared across Harry’s too because of their chest constantly rubbing against each other with their hurried movements. He knew Harry was close too, if the way he kept fisting the sheets tighter and the way his thrust were faster, pounding into him with more force than before, was anything to go by. It was a moment of pure bliss as Louis finally gave into release, letting himself give away to the sensation, rising up into Harry. It felt like they just fit together perfectly. As if Louis was meant to be arching into Harry's long body. He clenched around the younger boy's cock, sending Harry into his own orgasm. Harry arched up and his head flung backwards as he groaned in a way that was almost animalistic but most of all fucking sexy. He gave out a few last quick thrust, before collapsing on top of Louis, breathing out heavily.

They were quiet for a little while, both of them coming down from their high while just enjoying the close proximity. Eventually Harry moved, sliding out of Louis and headed to the bathroom to expose the condom. He stayed out there for a while and Louis didn't move an inch on the bed, he just kept trying to steady his breathing and considered if he should leave now or if he was expected to stay the night. Except then he glanced at the alarm clock on Harry's bedside table and realised it was barely even six pm – he was most likely expected to leave.

Harry came back and he was all dimples and slow movements. He slid into bed next to Louis, burying his face in Louis' neck and putting his arm around his waist.

The older boy sighed in contentment and shifted a bit so his body was facing Harry's before cupping Harry's cheek with his hand. “I think I might like you a little bit,” He said.

“Mmh, I like you a lot.” Harry replied softly.

“Charmer.”

“You have no idea,” Harry chuckled quietly with that hoarse voice of his and squeezed Louis tighter against him for emphasis. His scent was fucking intoxicating to Louis, it was always natural with a slight scent of mint traceable on his skin from the soap he used, and it was all around Louis now, enclosing every part of him. It prickled comfortably underneath his skin.

“I think I could stay like this forever,” The curly haired boy whispered into the hollow beneath Louis' ear.

“You're a little hopelessly romantic, aren't you, Styles?” Louis whispered, stretching out a curl in Harry's hair.

“You saying you couldn't stay like this forever?” Harry replied in that gravelly, languid voice, while brushing fingertips over Louis' hipbone and along the curve of his torso.

“I _could_ ,” Louis smirked, pronouncing the two words carefully.

“But...?”

“Of course I could stay like this forever, you fool,”

“Cheeky,” Harry grinned and propped himself up on his elbow. His voice was serious when he spoke again, but he was still smiling happily, “We should probably talk.”

Louis nodded, knowing they had to put it out there – all the things they had avoided talking about. He wasn't sure where it would lead, in fact he was a bit scared and judging from the way Harry was biting his lip now with a flickering gaze, he was a bit scared too. They waited a few moments before finally bursting the bubble they had been living in.

“Why were you so angry?” Louis whispered, breaking the heavy silence.

The other boy sighed and touched Louis' shoulder with his thumb, “It's complicated,” He said before cradling Louis to his chest, locking their gazes, “It was my fault we stopped being friends back when we were younger. I was a coward and I've been excusing myself ever since with the fact that I was just a kid, younger than you even. I guess I started having feelings for you when I was around eleven, but I had no idea what it was and I was too scared to ask anyone, let alone tell you how being around you made me feel. I guess I was afraid you'd laugh at me and tell me I was a weirdo. When Niall came along I'd just had enough of it, and... Niall is great, I like hanging out with him because it was easier then, and I don't feel weird about him – nothing like how I feel about you. And as the stupid kid I was, I took the easy way out and... ignored you completely, thinking that it would solve everything. I was convinced that _you_ were my problem,” He paused, caressing the other boy's cheek, “I'm really sorry for that, Lou.”

Louis nodded, giving him a pleading look to continue.

“I wouldn't say I forgot about you over the years. More like avoided you. I locked you – and all the memories that come along with you – up. When I think back I can't believe how I was able to control it like that, and it wasn't until Stan began to babble about you that it all came rushing back. I didn't like the way he talked about you or looked at you, it was a bit irrational, but I was jealous – I _am_ jealous. Therefore I was angry and while I really shouldn't have, I took it all out on you and Stan. But it wasn't either of yours fault. That was really stupid of me, and I'm really sorry for that too.”

Louis simply pressed his lips to Harry's chest, grazing the tip of a bird wing. Goosebumps rose on Harry's skin making Louis smile, “I kind of liked it when you shoved me up all those walls, though,”

“Yeah?” Harry grinned.

“Definitely.”

“I'll make sure to remember that then.”

Louis chuckled quietly but remained silent after that for a while. Harry didn't talk either, both of them just letting it all sink in. It was calmer than Louis had expected, even though there was a million thoughts running at full speed through his mind. Harry's eyes were glazed and his lips were barely parted – it was a peaceful expression. Louis savoured it.

“What are you thinking, love?”

“I guess I've had feelings for you for a long time too...” The older boy trailed off, “I just haven't been able to admit it to myself, because I had sort of created a bit of hostility and disliking towards you, because of what happened.”

“I get that.”

“I remember when somebody told me you’d come out of the closet, and I remember thinking that I wanted to do something about it. I don’t know, _talk_ to you. But I – I was a coward, so I just ended up doing nothing.”

“I was no better.” Harry mumbled.

“I agreed to go on a date with Stan because I wanted to give him a chance,” Louis said, ignoring Harry’s comment, “Everybody deserves a chance.”

“A second chance too?”

Louis smiled and buried a hand into Harry's curls, “Of course.”

“Thank you,” Harry sighed and Louis felt so happy and content, like _this_. Being close to the other boy like this had been all he had ever needed and he had never even realised it. But it didn't matter now, because they were here and they were together – and it was _perfect_.

“We should probably get up though.”

“ _Whyyyy_?”

“Because I have cum on me and I'm getting hungry,” Louis stated reasonably.

“Fine, bossy pants,” Harry grinned teasingly before getting up from the bed, disappearing through the bathroom door that was attached to his room. “Care to join me?” He called after Louis.

The blue eyed boy coughed awkwardly, “Uhm, no, you go ahead. I'll shower after you.”

Harry made a whiny noise and there after came the sound of running water. Louis sighed in relief, because he wasn't sure if he could stand fucking _showering_ with Harry without sporting a boner, and his lack of control was quite embarrassing – the combinations of Harry along with endless amounts of water as seen in the locker room incident merely testified to this. Harry just _did_ shit to him and considering how spent he'd felt and how hard he'd cum, he definitely should not be able to go at it again only minutes after. He rolled around in the bed a little, burying his nose in the sheets – in the scent of _Harry –_ before getting up to retrieve his clothes that had been thrown around and had landed randomly on the floor.

They ordered Chinese when Louis was done showering and shuffled together on the couch in Harry's living room with chopsticks working clumsily in their hands and lopsided lazy smiles on their lips. It was a bit heavenly, Louis thought. He could get used to this.

When they were done with their take out dinner, Harry's head ended up in Louis' lap, Louis' hands petting the wild curls and the younger boy hummed, sounding pleased.

“Are you going to stay the night?” Harry mumbled.

“Uhm,”

“I want you to.”

“I... I guess I can?”

Harry smiled up at Louis with hazy eyes, “Good.”

He was just too precious to leave unkissed at that moment, Louis decided, before dipping his head down to press gentle lips against Harry's awaiting ones. They were so far and so gone with closed eyes and lips parting and closing in an unwavering rhythm, trying to control everything, that had been locked up for so long, from detonating. Louis forgot time, only being able to concentrate on how amazing Harry felt, but their skin slipped away eventually, both of them needing more air.

“What do we say to Stan?” Louis mused, brushing his thumb over Harry's flushed cheek.

“I'm not sure.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

There was a thoughtful moment of silence before Harry pushed himself up, searching for Louis’ lips once more. Louis hummed happily, knowing he could never get enough of this. Who the fuck had lips like that anyway? It was simply a disgrace not to kiss lips like that at every chance one would get. Temptation getting the better of him, Louis snuck his hand under Harry’s shirt and began to trace the contours of Harry’s chiselled abdomen. Harry let out a gasp when Louis pinched a nipple.

A serious of strange movements happened next. Elbows picked bellies, fingers pulled on hair, as Louis strategically removed Harry’s shirt with one swipe. He bent down to reconnect their lips when he heard a very unmanly scream.

“ARGH! I'm blind! I'm blind!” A voice shrieked from the direction of the door, sadly interrupting their tongue adventure.

The older boy smiled against Harry's swollen lips before lifting his head to see who had walked into the living room. “Hey,” Louis greeted.

“Niall,” Harry laughed, “I guess an introduction would be useless, since you've already met.”

“My god, Harry, you could've texted me a warning that you'd be snogging _Louis Tomlinson_ on the couch.” Niall continued in a horrified tone, ignoring Harry's pleasantries.

“You could've texted me a warning you'd be barging in here, you twat,” Harry chuckled and watched with amusement as Niall headed into the direction of the kitchen, “There's no food in there, Nialler!”

The blonde boy reappeared throwing his hands up in exasperation, only to find Louis had gone back to work with tracing his fingers along the hem of Harry’s pants. “What am I even doing here!”

“Don't know,” Harry mumbled, losing concentration and reaching up to cradle Louis' cheek to pull his lips down again.

“Oh, _ew_ ,”

“Shut up, Niall.”

“I'll call you later, I'm leaving. Gonna go fuck... someone.”

Harry chuckled again, “Good luck with that.”

Niall grumbled something on the way out but it was incomprehensible to Louis because the other boy's lips were puckering cheekily, waiting impatiently for Louis to dip down and kiss him again.

<> 

The next day they played their match and won _big_ , Harry scoring two goals and Louis making remarkably good passings at his team mates. The coach had been ecstatic, lifting the entire team into even higher spirits, since no one enjoyed watching a disappointed coach. In fact, the entire team had played really well and the game had ended 4-1 with shouts of joy and sweaty hugs.

Niall had been giving Harry and Louis strange looks throughout the entire thing, and Louis noticed him whispering things to Harry once in a while. Stan was in his usual cheerful, flirty mood but Louis stirred as far away from him as possible, knowing the reaction it pulled out of Harry. They didn't have much time to concentrate on stuff like that on the field anyway.

They were all hyped up for the party Niall was throwing the next night and for once, Louis actually felt excited at the prospect of a big victory party. Some of the boys from the team stayed around the club house after the match for a round of pints, but Louis had an English paper hanging above his head that he knew he had to get over with, so he quickly changed, and drove home with Zayn.

“You guys fucked, didn't you?” Asked Zayn pointedly when they were seated in his car and he noticed that Louis' lips were permanently turned up at bit at the corners.

“Uhm,” he bit his lip, mouth breaking into a wide smile, “Yeah. We did.”

“You're so easy to read,” Zayn chuckled.

“Ahh, Zayney, it was _so good_. The best I've ever had and if I didn't have this shitty English paper, we'd be having celebratory sex right at this very moment.”

“That's great, Lou,”

“Now it's your turn to tell me about Liam!” Louis grinned smugly, clasping his hands excitedly in front of him. “What's it like? How big is he? Did he ride you yet?”

“No, no, _no_.”

“Oh, c'mon,” Louis whined, “I tell you everything!”

Red colour  flushed Zayn's cheeks and he blinked a few times, training his eyes on the road, “It's amazing. He's, uhm, really big, yeah.”

“That sounds lovely.”

“Yeah.” The dark haired boy muttered, the colour in his cheeks turning deeper into pretty crimson.

“Oh my god, Zayn, you let him top, don’t you?”

“Lou, I really don't see what diff – ”

“Huge difference! I'm so proud of you, babe.” Louis ruffled Zayn’s hair before leaning back in his seat, a satisfied smile on his lips.

“You're unbelievable.”

“I'm fabulous.”

Zayn snorted, but smiled anyway and kept his eyes on the road to avoid the smug stare from his best friend.

Louis took about two hours longer than usual finishing his paper because of all the excitement circulating in him. Not only did they win the match, but he'd spend the previous night at _Harry's_ and things had been amazing. Getting to wake up to the sight of a peaceful curly haired boy with closed lids and parted pink lips turned out to be one of the best mornings Louis had ever had and he would treasure that moment for a long time. They had eaten breakfast together and by the time they'd finished eating, Louis had practically ended up in Harry's lap with light brown ringlets circling around his index finger.

Zayn and Louis watched a bit of TV before they both headed to bed with droopy eyes. Louis lay under his duvet, staring up at the ceiling for a long time and thinking about all the things that had happened to him in the past twenty four hours, but eventually his phone vibrated on his bedside table cutting off his train of thought.

_“Night, Lou. You did great today. See you tomorrow xx”_

The boy smiled at the text he'd received from Harry and buried his face in his pillow. He scolded himself a little for acting like a stupid swooning teenager, but then again, he didn't really care because he did in fact feel that way.

_“Goodnight, Haz. You were amazing, see you x”_

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter of Memories Fall. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did :) Subscribe and stuff or follow my fic blog on tumblr for future fics: http://lustforfrosting.tumblr.com/

Niall hosted a lot of parties, but none of them were as crowded as the one he had the following Friday night. But Louis was eager to see Harry, and Zayn was eager to see Liam so they walked straight in with no hesitation. They had to push themselves through a few crowded hallways and living rooms before they spotted both Harry and Liam standing outside on the patio with drinks in their hands chatting with unrecognisable people.

Harry always had trouble with concentrating on more than one thing at a time, because everything was slow in his world and he paid careful attention to the little details – the things other people didn't see – so he jostled out of his position when Louis crept up behind him pressing tentative fingers against his wrist. He immediately broke into a smile though, at the sight of the smaller boy.

“Louis – hi!” He said, surprise colouring his voice.

The people he'd been indulging in a conversation with seemed to flutter away at the sudden presence of Louis They sensed the Harry that only Louis could bring out and Harry's attention was now completely devoted to him.

“Hey,” Louis said quietly, blue meeting green and forgetting completely about Liam who had been by his side just a second ago.

“You came.”

“I never break a promise.” Louis drawled, stepping closer, so that he was all up in Harry's space and their breathings intertwined in a mix of hope and craving.

“Is that so?” Harry smirked, grabbing Louis' elbow to draw him even closer and their posture towards each other could not in any way ever be interpreted as casual. The taller boy leaned down slowly, giving Louis a nice long smooch before Louis pulled back regretfully.

“Stan,” He interjected quietly.

Harry sighed, releasing his grip on Louis and eyed the big glass doors that displayed the two of them to the entire party, knowing that Stan was somewhere in there, pressed between intoxicated people that all had meaningless song lyrics rolling off of their tongue in a manner that was both happy and fake at the same time.

Louis fiddled with his fingers, sucking his upper lip into his mouth in a pout and Harry's eyes flashed with emotion before he said “You know what, I don’t give a flying fuck,” and pulled Louis in, cupping his cheeks with his hands to press his lips firmly against Louis'. The older boy melted into Harry's frame, digging his fingers into his t-shirt covered torso and breathed out heavily into Louis' mouth.

“I missed you,” Harry whispered against Louis' warm lips, when the desperation of the kiss had worn off.

“Already?”

“You're a twat,”

Louis gasped, “You wound me, Styles!”

“Oh, we're on surname terms now?”

“Yep.”

“Let's just get you a drink, _Tomlinson_.” Harry laughed and pulled Louis inside to head in the direction of the bar that was set up in a big room where the dance floor was also located.

“Beer?” Harry suggested.

“Rum.”

“Oooh, we're starting out with the heavy stuff,” Harry teased, “Warming up for tonight?”

“I don't need to warm up for  _you_ , Harry.”

“Sure, you don't.” He chuckled in response.

The hired bartender gave the two of them a cautious look before grabbing the mahogany coloured bottle, pouring some into a glass and adding some coke, stirring it slightly for last.

“We lost Zayn and Liam,” Louis noted, as he'd been handed his drink.

“Let's go find them, yeah?”

The older boy nodded, saying something about the bedrooms upstairs being the most logical place to look which earned a smile from Harry before he took Louis' hand in his and led him up the stairs. The music was pounding through the walls, as they made their way up to open the first door on their right, and just as Harry reached for the handle with his other hand clasped around Louis' a figure emerged from the bathroom right next to that door.

“Hey Haz, look, I – Louis?” Stan looked slightly drunk with glossy eyes and a lazy smile plastered on his lips, but he seemed to sober up the the second Louis stepped into vision. His eyes quickly snapped to Harry and Louis' locked hands and then back up at Harry wide eyes, his confusion obvious.

“What's going on?” Stan gritted out, “Were you headed in there?” He gestured for the bedroom door whose handle Harry's hand still rested on, “ _Alone_?”

“No, we were just looking for Zayn and Liam.” Louis offered, releasing Harry's hand.

“Oh,” Stan breathed, smiling now, “Harry can find them, yeah? Come dance with me, Lou!”

Before Louis could react, Stan had slipped his arm around Louis' waist already guiding him back down the stairs. Louis glanced over his shoulder with panicky eyes at a gaping Harry who looked utterly helpless with his empty hands by his sides.

 

<> 

Stan was quite a bad dancer. His moves were uncoordinated, he moved his arms too fast and his feet too slow, but he luckily wasn't pushy – or just not drunk enough – to put his hands on Louis' bum, bring them so close that no amount of air was able to separate them. Louis caught Harry's eyes a few times. He was hovering on the edges of the dance floor with a tight jaw and eyes on alarm as if he was constantly keeping himself ready to just bolt right through the dance floor to grab Louis and drag him out of there.

Another song came on that had a slower beat which enabled Stan to put his hands on Louis' side, sliding them down to grip around his hips. Louis just closed his eyes in anticipation of the inevitable. He was yanked away by his shoulder, Harry's large hands clutching the fabric of his shirt. He stumbled a bit as he let himself be torn away from the dancing bodies and it took what felt like the amount of time that it would take for the universe to blink for him to be crowded up against a really cold wall, that scratched against his back. Brick wall, maybe? Outside? Louis couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't even muster the strength to open his eyes again, all he could do was  _feel_ and he could feel a lot of things. Things like delectable cologne in the air around him, soft skin of lips against his jawline and strong fingers driving up his shirt.

“He won't find us.” Harry whispered.

“You have to tell him.”

“Later.”

“ _Now_ , Haz,” Louis said sternly, intertwining his hand in Harry's curls. ”You and Stan are friends. You can’t keep hiding something like this from him, and the longer that you do, the more angry he will be.”

Harry nodded, conflict in his eyes, but he dipped down to cover Louis' lips with his own anyway. There was an overpowering amount of passion to it this time, as if Harry was trying to channel everything in to that single kiss. As if trapping everything between their heated bodies. As if it was just them who existed, bringing them back to the start.

When they finally parted after sharing several minutes breathing each other in, Louis' head was swimming only empowered by the poison circulating in his veins. They turned a corner and he realised they had been standing behind the garage that was attached to the house, which was located in a safe distance from the house. As they neared the patio he quickly noticed Stan trudging back and forth with a cigarette enclosed tightly by his lips.

“Tell me what the fuck is going on, Styles, or I will  _make_  you!”

“Alright,” Harry said, standing about two meters from Stan, “I'm in love with Louis, and there's a possibility that he feels the same way.” Louis almost choked, inhaling deeply to calm himself from what Harry had just admitted.

And then Stan laughed loudly, obnoxiously and his voice was dripping with mock, “You two don't even know each other! You fucking hate each other!”

“That's not true.”

“Oh, yeah? Please, enlighten me.”

“We've known each other since we were kids,” Harry reasoned. “Our mums are best friends.”

“We do hate each other a little bit though,” Louis offered with a twitch of a smile.

“Why the hell did you lie to me, Harry? And why didn't you just reject me the first damn time I asked you to go out with me, Louis? You two are fucking unbelievable!”

“It's complicated.” Harry said, shrugging.

“That's bullshit.”

Suddenly Louis' mind went on overdrive and words were streaming out. He was oblivious as to the amount of sense in his sentences though. “Look, Stan, neither of us meant for this to happen. I'd already gone out with you once when Harry and I – you know, started talking again. It's not like I agreed to anything else after that first date, and we've never  _done_  anything either, so stop acting like this is such a big deal. Okay, so Harry didn't tell you the truth and, yeah, that's a bad move because you’re friends, and friends don’t lie to each other – especially not about something like this. But you and _I_ aren't really friends, so I don't owe you anything. I haven't even been leading you on. That was  _all you_.”

Stan's gaze flickered between Louis and Harry and then he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. His mouth fell disappointedly, the anger having faded a bit as realisation struck. “Okay. Fine,” He said, and it was obvious he had no clue as to what to say. “It's fine.”

Harry sighed a breath of relief, watching Stan with carefulness.

“I'm gonna go get drunk now.”

“Alright,” said Harry, nodding slowly.

Louis narrowed his eyes a bit, giving Stan a small smile before saying, “Have fun.” But Stan replied only with silence as he disappeared through the door inside, already pressed between people.

“You handled that pretty well,” Harry almost chuckled, “Better than me.”

“What can I say?” Louis laughed and took a step closer to the other boy, “My logic is undeniable.”

“True.”

Louis took the final step and then they were flushed against each other, Louis' hands fiddling with the hem of the younger boy's shirt.

“How long do we have to stay here?”

“For however long you want.” Louis mumbled absently, swiping his thumb across the tattooed birds on Harry's chest.

“I think we should go to my place, like, right now,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Louis giggled, stepping away from Harry and fluttering inside again. Harry followed closely behind him, as they both grabbed their coats from the hallway and thereafter made their way to Harry's car that was parked on the opposite side of the street.

Harry drove fast to his flat, breathing heavily as a cause of Louis' thumb rubbing circles on his thigh. Louis just smirked.

They stumbled inside the door with eager hands which made them fumble more than necessary to get each other stripped off. Louis even growled at one point trying to get Harry’s tight pants off and wasn’t particularly pleased that he had to unwind his leg’s hold on Harry’s hips in order to drag off his boxers completely.

When they had finally gotten their clothes off, they fell onto the couch with their limbs tangled and mouths attached to already hot damp skin. They kissed fervently and even more so when Louis thrust his hips down on Harry for delicious friction. He grabbed a hold of their cocks and began to slide them against each other, mixing their precum and letting it coat both of their lengths.

“Perfect – you're perfect,” Harry grunted, sliding his hand down Louis' back and to his ass, squeezing the smooth skin there.

Louis tightened his grip around both of their cocks and thrust his hips faster to meet Harry's increasing pace. “I wanna ride you, babe,” Louis said, roughness at the edge of his voice, “Ugh, I’m gunna ride you so hard...”

Harry whimpered at the cold air that replaced Louis' hot body when Louis left to get the lube and condom from the bedroom. The younger boy was sitting up, dark eyes scrutinising Louis' every move, as Louis returned to the living room.

Louis slowly made his way to the couch, making sure to take in the sight in front of him. Harry slumped back into the cushions, looking up eagerly, waiting for whatever Louis will give him. His cock lay long and thick on the top of Harry’s thigh as he made little movements as if he was inadvertently humping the air. He couldn’t stay away much longer though so he skipped the last few steps by leaping onto the couch and straddling Harry’s lap. By balancing himself on his knees, there’s enough space as he reached down and slid a condom hurriedly onto harry. He smiled mischievously at the younger boy as he slowly glided his hands down Harry's leaking cock and gave it a few hard strokes before he reached behind himself to get himself ready.

“No – ugh – let me do that,” Harry grunted and removed Louis' arm to replace it with his own. He massaged Louis' cheeks with his left hand as he let Louis squirt some lube onto the fingers of his right. Almost too eagerly, Harry reached behind Louis and circled his awaiting hole with the tips of two fingers.  Not long after, Louis starts to feel a prodding and long, because they were needy and desperate for the closeness. He pushed a finger in a bit too soon, and the pain was sharp, reaching his bones, but extremely pleasurable nonetheless.

Things sped up from there; they belonged to each other now and they were both desperate to claim what was theirs – what had always been theirs.

Louis sunk down on Harry’s cock, holding tightly onto him for leverage as Harry continued pressing loving kisses against Louis’ collarbone. The blue eyed boy rolled his hips and lifted them high, lowering them forcefully back down on Harry’s big cock. He quickly sped up his pace, squeezing his eyes shut and leaving red marks on the other boy’s white skin with his nails. Harry came first as Louis began to clench around him, and Louis quickly followed when Harry closed his hand around Louis’ length, pumping him fast. Louis fell against the other boy with his face tucked into Harry’s neck, when they had rode out their orgasms.

 

<> 

 

The silence was easy and peaceful as they just breathed next to each other. Louis’ heart felt like it had swelled to twice its normal size, especially at the thought of getting to keep this boy with him.

“We should probably tell our mums,” Harry suddenly chuckled.

“Can’t it wait, like, a few years?” Louis groaned.

“Babe, they are both basically psychics. There’s no way we could hide something like this from them, so we need to tell them before they figure it out themselves and start being all smug behind our backs.”

Louis looked sternly at his boyfriend and realised he was going to give in to that fucking kitten face. “Fine. Next month.”

“Next month?” Harry questioned with a raise of his eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Louis replied into the pillow before scooting closer to Harry and wrapping his arms tightly around him. “I wanna have you to myself for the next few weekends.”

“Deal.” Harry grinned seemingly happy with Louis’ reasoning and smoothed Louis’ fringe away from his eyes fondly.

“Deal.”

 

<> 

 

There were exactly no clouds in the sky today and Louis was still sore from the night before when Harry had tied his hands behind his back and fucked him till he came without ever touching his dick. It was quite ridiculous how incredible sex with Harry was. And Harry himself was, well… fucking amazing which made it hard to deny anything that he would ever ask from him. It hadn’t really been a problem until now, a month after Niall’s huge party.

“It will be fine, Lou. They probably already have figured it out and won’t fuss too much.” Harry had told him before he’d kissed him goodnight the previous night.

But oh god, Harry was naïve and stupid and _wonderful_ , because there was no way their mothers wouldn’t already start planning the wedding and research adopting agencies the moment they linked their hands in front of them. May be Harry already knew that, but he was determined to tell their families – today – anyway, because “it’s necessary” – Louis rolled his eyes when Harry pulled that card.

It was pathetic, really, that Louis was being such a difficult prat, but he wasn’t ready to share Harry yet and he definitely wasn’t ready for the inevitable fuss Anne and Jay – who made out a very intimidating duo – would create about them. He was certain people would stop him in the streets in the area his family lived just to congratulate him or something. Ridiculous.

Then there was also the fact that Louis had never done this sort of thing before. Having a boyfriend. He had absolutely no experience of how to introduce your boyfriend to a family member, which surely indicated that this was a serious thing, and let alone that family member being his _mother_. It helped that she already loved Harry as a second son, so at least he could stop worrying about her liking his boyfriend. Still, that wasn’t nearly enough to calm down his nerves.

But the sky was clear and blue today and his ass was sore, but in an incredibly good way, so this was probably one of the better days to tell the partnered duo.

“Louis!” Harry exclaimed with exasperation, “Why aren’t you dressed yet? We promised we’d be there by noon.”

Louis sighed and gave him a pleading look.

“Go on,” The younger boy said, “Up you go.”

Louis just puckered his lips, begging for a kiss instead of moving an inch off the couch.

“Do you want me to call your mum and tell her you’re being a baby?”

“No!”

“Then get up.”

“God, Hazza, you don’t have to be so harsh.”

“Apparently I do.”

“Dickhead.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Of course you’re thinking of dick right now.”

Louis just stuck his tongue out at him and languidly got up from his comfortable position on the way too comfy couch.

“What the fuck is that?” Louis said, pointing at Harry’s t-shirt with a frown of confusion.

Harry’s gaze slowly glided down to the image on his t-shirt and looked back up at Louis looking like pure innocence and confusion. So fucking cute.

“It’s a t-shirt.”

“There’s naked women on it,” Louis pointed out, “All I see is ass cracks and naked women.”

“What? It’s Pink Floyd! It’s an iconic picture – this is all their album covers painted on their backs!”

“Could you stop talking hipster? I don’t understand a word, Harold.”

“Why do I even bother with you?” Harry said, half-smiling before shaking out his hair.

“Because my ass is far better than anyone’s from your stupid old bands.”

“This isn’t Pink Floyd! Well, yeah, it’s their album covers, but – fuck, Lou, please just get dressed.”

“Fine, fine.” Louis smirked.

He made a mess of the bag he’d packed to spend a few nights at Harry’s as he tried to pick something appropriate for telling his mum that he was shagging his childhood friend. He sighed, realising he had absolutely nothing appropriate for _that_. He changed his boxers – decidedly not wearing the blue ones with glitter that were clean, because _no,_ – pulled on Bordeaux pants and a light grey jumper that was all nice and fluffy.

“You didn’t have your morning tea yet, did you?” Harry asked from the doorway.

“Shit, Haz,” Louis gasped, “Scared me.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s not why I’m not feeling particularly excited about today’s events.”

“You sure?”

“Well, partly – just, I don’t want to go.”

“You’re being a bit of a twat, Louis,” Harry said softly and closed the space between them in a few vast strides. “Stop thinking about it.”

“Why aren’t you nervous?”

“I _am_ nervous, but we can’t keep living in my bedroom.”

“I know that,” Louis sighed, grabbing Harry by his elbow to pull him in for a light kiss. “I just wish we could.”

Harry’s eyes glinted when he smiled in response and duck down for another kiss. “You ready to go, babe?” He mumbled against the other boy’s lips.

“As ready as I can be.”

“Tell you what, you can drive.”

“Wow, really, Haz? I’m beyond flattered and astounded by your generosity.”

“It’s a part of my charm.” Harry smiled widely, flashing dimples at Louis who forgot to breathe for just a few seconds. “Let’s go then.”

Harry kept a firm grip on Louis’ hand as they walked down to his car. Louis slid into the driver’s seat as he contemplated the possible side effects of not having his regular morning tea. He decided it didn’t really matter because it wouldn’t help his nerves in the slightest and it was completely baffling to him how Harry could be _whistling_ right now as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He started the engine and pulled onto the road sighing because London traffic was always the same no matter what time of the day you drove into that mess. He found himself staring at the people waltzing around on the streets instead, and okay yeah, maybe it was true what Harry said about Louis losing concentration quicker than a five year old.

“Louis!” Harry half-shouted. “Eyes on the road.”

“I’ve got it, I’ve got it!”

“Jesus, you will kill us both one day,” Harry said, but there was a hint of a smile in his tone, “This is why I never let you drive.”

“I’m a skilful driver.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

Louis would do exactly just that, because he was a stubborn person and also a far more experienced since he’d had his driver’s license for exactly two more years than Harry had. Obviously, he was the better driver. He even drove smoothly once he actually started concentrating more on the road and Harry’s thumb soothingly circling the back of his hand rather than his mum and Anne’s possible reactions to the news they were bringing.

They were meeting up at Anne’s house which wasn’t very far from where his own mum lived. Anne lived in a big rather posh looking house that was just as cleanly white on the outside as it was on the inside with a scarce garden that didn’t need to be taken care of that often, which was convenient when Anne travelled so much for her job. Jay’s car was already parked on the sidewalk and Louis took a double intake of breath before slowing down the speed of Harry’s car and pulling in behind.

Harry intertwined his hand in Louis’, when the noise of the engine died, and gazed at Louis with sheer adoration, his lips curling into a small smile.

“I love you.” Louis half-whispered.

Harry’s small smile broke into a full blown, dimple appearing grin and, god, Louis would never get used to that. “I love you too, Boo bear.”

“Don’t call me that, you tosser.”

Harry said nothing to that, he just leaned over and cupped Louis’ cheeks with his large hands and finally kissed Louis, deeply. It was just the kind of kiss he needed and it relieved something in him, like stretching after having been put in the same position for too long.

He got out of the car with a sigh and Harry automatically reached for Louis’ hand, but stuck it back in his pocket when Louis reminded him that sauntering into the house holding hands wouldn’t exactly be telling them gently, letting their words sink in. No, it was more like shoving it in their faces and naively expecting them to stay calm.

Harry’s mum opened the door before they even had a chance to knock and Louis narrowed his eyes suspiciously, a weird feeling crawling up from the back of his neck. “Hello boys,” Anne greeted them.

“Hi mum.”

“Hey Anne.”

“You’re late – that’s unlike you, Harry.” Anne said but didn’t sound ticked off at all, more like… _too pleasant_. They continued talking as the two boys got off their boots and heavy winter coats.

“I couldn’t get Louis out of bed, he kept –“

“Traffic was mental.” Louis said interrupting the other boy and trying to sound as casual as possible, because Anne wasn’t supposed to find out by a slip of Harry’s tongue. He just praised himself lucky that they were shuffling around and not facing each other, so Anne would miss the panic in Louis’ eyes.

They made their way into the living room where Jay was seated on the couch, eyes turned in the direction of the frost clinging to the large windows and the moment she laid eyes on them Louis realised her expression was identical to Anne’s – _too pleasant_.

“Hey, boys.” She said, smiling brightly as they approached her.

“Hi, Mum.”

“Hey, Jay.”

“That’s not a proper hello. I’m expecting hugs.”

Harry broke into one of those wide absolutely dazzling smiles as he fluttered across the room to hug her followed by a kiss to her cheek that made her giggle profoundly. Louis followed suit and both him and Harry sat down on the couch opposite Jay, careful to maintain an appropriate distance from each other despite how much they were both yearning to leave small calming touches on each other’s skin.

They hadn’t even gotten a conversation started before Anne called for Harry to come help her set the table and he quickly got up, disappearing into the kitchen, leaving Louis alone with his mum and his nerves. He started fiddling with the collar of his shirt, even more on edge now that Harry was more than an arm’s length away from him.

“So,” Jay said, clasping her hands in front of her, “How’s school been lately?”

“Just fine, Mum.”

“And what about Zayn? It’s been so long since I’ve seen that handsome fella. You should bring him around for dinner sometime.”

“I was just waiting for your invitation,”

“Funny, that didn’t seem to be a problem all those other times you stopped by unannounced because you were sick of junk food.”

“I’ll bring him around sometime soon, alright?”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Jay’s eyes trailed back to linger on the wide expanse of the windows that were facing Anne’s garden. Louis followed her gaze and watched the sky with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. They sat in silence until Anne came and ushered them to the table where she and Harry had made everything ready. The blue eyed boy shifted uncomfortably once he was seated across from the intimidating motherly aura but it helped a little that Harry was so close, ready to catch them if anything went wrong.

“Louis? There’s nothing on your plate – eat!” Anne chided.

“Yeah – yes.”

“Is there something wrong, love? You seem a bit out of yourself.” Jay reached over and gently rested her hand on Louis' as he held onto his fork for dear life.

“I’m perfectly fine,” Louis uttered before sinking a lump that made his entire throat tighten.

“In fact, we’re both perfectly fine,” Harry said as his hand snuck to lay on Louis’ thigh, squeezing reassuringly.

“Is that so?” Anne questioned.

“Yeah, I mean, Louis and I we’re, like, together?”

“Together?”

“Yeah. Y’know, boyfriends.”

A smile spread on Anne’s face, “We’re very happy for you both – took you long enough to tell us, though.”

“What?”

“You can’t hide something like that from us, loves,” Anne chides.

 “Not to mention, I overheard you calling Louis back to bed when I was talking to him on the phone last week.” Jay mused.

“Oh.”

Apparently this was enough to leave Harry dumbfounded as well because even though he had a feeling that they knew _something_ , he surely didn’t expect them to know _everything_.

“Don’t be sorry, love!”

“How long have you two been together?”

“About a month.” Harry replied cheerfully, apparently already having recovered from the shock.

“Are you moving in together?”

“I can’t wait to tell your sisters, Lou!”

“Mum, please,” Louis groaned. “Just – this is pretty new and we’re still trying to figure things out.”

It was as if calmness waved over their mothers and their smiles settled to pleasant quirks at the corners of their mouths. He breathed out a sigh of relief and felt another squeeze from Harry’s hand on his thigh, which helped clearing his mind even further.

“You’re telling us now though. That must mean that you have figured out _something_?”

“We have. It’s just…“

“We would like to move forward on our own terms, if that’s alright?” Harry cut in, carrying the weight for Louis who had momentarily lost the ability to speak.

“Of course!” Anne said.

“You have to promise.”

“I promise, Harry.” Anne says suddenly serious and wide-eyed.

Louis finally tore his eyes off their mother’s faces to eat a piece of bacon on his plate, chewing it carefully and giving Harry a little sideways glance. Harry looked content with his right dimple showing cheekily and his fingers now drawing small patterns on Louis’ thigh.

“We really _are_ happy for you.” Jay said, breaking the short silence.

Harry nodded. “We know. And we’re grateful for that.”

“Good,” Anne said, “Now, I can see this makes our dear Louis here a bit uncomfortable, so let’s talk about how we are gonna organise the upcoming Christmas parties! I’m thinking we should go a bit bold and do black and purple for this year’s theme colours? What do you think?”

Louis finally allowed a smile slip on his lips as the conversation stirred to other matters like Anne’s obsession with organising parties, being especially fond of the ones that allowed her to add a theme to it. If him and Harry really did get married someday she would probably do everything in her power to be allowed to give their wedding a theme like superheroes, a ride through the jungle or, God forbid, a gay pride theme with endless amounts of rainbow flags.

The sun was settling on the darkening blue sky by the time they made it out to Harry’s car with kisses still wet on their cheeks and promises of returning home soon to tell them more about their glorious uni life.

“I think that went well.” Harry said lightly once they were settled in their seats his car. And as he leaned over to press a lingering kiss to Louis’ lips Louis thought that yes; that indeed did go well.

 

<> 

 

By the time Zayn’s birthday rolled around mid-January, Louis hadn’t been home for more than two weeks, other than to get fresh clothes and his preferred shampoo because Harry’s had just got his hair all kinds of fucked up. Must have been shampoo specific to luscious curly hair or something.

He was heading back today though to get things set up for Zayn’s birthday party and he was determined not to admit that he was dreading it. It wasn’t because he hadn’t been there for Zayn like a best friend should be for the past few weeks and was afraid to face the consequences. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to let Harry out of sight. It wasn’t because he didn’t feel like getting drunk off his ass and do stupid – later regrettable – thins. No, it was because of Liam and his soft, pleading eyes that Louis had no idea what to make of. Louis didn’t want to keep turning him down, didn’t want to keep his annoyance with him visible and most of all he didn’t want to keep hurting Zayn with his dislike for Liam.

It sounded easy though, to just cut it out, to just treat Liam like he was the one who actually made Zayn really smile. It just wasn’t easy for Louis because he felt distressed and confused because he didn’t _understand_. He didn’t understand how they who had caused each other so much pain, could keep loving each other so much because it was obvious – the love between them. It stuck to Louis’ whenever he was close enough like a sheer layer of skin that just kept itching and itching. In the beginning, it was jealousy, but now that he had Harry it had just turned into confusion and the sheer layer were covering his eyes now, blinding him.

Louis and Harry didn’t talk about it, unless you could call Harry’s questioning glances and Louis’ blank expressions talking. It was better that way too because Louis didn’t do well with talking about stuff that mattered. He could talk endlessly about how good the chocolate mousse he had last night was or how annoying this lady in the check out line at the supermarket had been, but never about why Harry and him stopped being friends or why he didn’t see his dad… or why Louis had never exchanged more than a _hi_ and a _hello_ with Liam.

All of this caused an unwanted awkwardness the moment Louis stepped into the flat with Harry in tow only to find Zayn and Liam tightly embracing in the kitchen. Louis swore he noticed Zayn mouth _it will be fine_ the second he laid eyes on them.

“Happy birthday, Zayney!” Louis chorused with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

Zayn stepped out of Liam’s grasp, his lips curling into a smile. “Thanks Lou,” He said as he caught his best friend in a hug that made Louis’ entire body tense up in guilt. It pooled in the pit of his stomach like acid, dizziness growing rapidly at the back of his mind.

“You can have your present later, when everybody else is here so they can see that my present is better than theirs.”

“Yeah, yeah, we all know you always like to be the centre of attention, Lou.”

Louis squinted over Zayn’s shoulder at Liam who was leaning on the counter with a thoughtful, cautious look and he just couldn’t help the half-grin half-smirk that spread across his lips as he said, “Hey, Payne,” in a way that was like getting the two words thrown at you with full force. They were like bullets shot straight at him that forced him to flinch and look hurt.

“Hi.” Liam replied coolly, eyes flickering briefly to lock with Harry’s.

Something tightened in Louis’ chest and he released Zayn a bit unwillingly, trying to look anywhere but at Harry and Liam who were crowding each other’s space, all smiles and laughter.

“When’re the others coming?”

“In about an hour.”

“I thought you said people were coming at nine otherwise I would’ve come earlier and –“

“Louis. That trick doesn’t work on me. You me it yourself.”

“You tricked me into this too? Whatever this is?” Harry gasped.

“Oh, stop complaining, Hazza. Like you didn’t enjoy the second round as much as I did,” Louis said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and earning a cute blush to form on Harry’s porcelain cheeks.

“You disgust me.” Zayn said, scrunching his nose.

“You should stop complaining too. I brought loads of your favourite apple flavoured Barcadi. You should basically be kissing my feet right now.”

“Whatever, mate. Just help me get this couch into your bedroom.”

“ _My_ bedroom?”

“Yes, _your_ bedroom. And stop looking at me like that, it’s not like you’re gonna sleep in there anyways. If we don’t move it there will be no room for people to dance, so just get your ass fucking working, Tommo.”

“Fine, fine!” Louis said, throwing his hands up in defeat.

He crouched down to get a good hold on the underside of the couch and watched as Zayn grabbed it on the opposite side of Louis and Harry and Liam supporting its weight on the long sides. It took some effort for them because this particular couch was shit heavy. Louis regretted not going to the gym more often, he even promised himself in the brief moment that he would pull himself together, but he already knew the promise he had made to himself would soon be forgotten.

Liam seemed completely unaffected by the tense air that seemed to be wavering between him and Louis, which frustrated Louis a bit. He was completely alone in this apparently. He avoided all contact with Liam as much as possible, not wanting any awkward moments swirling in the atmosphere, let alone allow Zayn or Harry to notice what was going on. He realised he would have to do something about this soon, because he knew Zayn and Liam were serious, and Liam was a good friend of Harry’s. Harry and Louis were _definitely_ serious.

When people started milling in with artfully wrapped presents in their hands and wide excited smiles on their lips, Louis felt more at ease and he finally let himself go, pushing thoughts of Liam to the back of his mind.

It wasn’t a surprise to Louis that Harry was always surrounded by a big group of people when he spotted him somewhere. They all felt the weird pull towards Harry and it wasn’t because he was loud and obnoxious, desperately trying to entertain everyone with embarrassing stories and snarky comments. No, he just stood there, laughing, flashing his dimples and sometimes he would throw a cheeky comment into the conversation because people often lost patience with him whenever he started story telling. Louis never lost patience though.

The blue eyed boy downed another liquorice shot, grimacing at the strong taste as it warmed and scratched his throat. He chatted lightly with Nick by the bar and when then their conversation ended and Louis turned around to go find Harry, he bumped right into Olly. He was drunk as hell, Louis noticed, because his eyes were bloodshot and he wondered for a second if alcohol was the only thing circulating in his veins that night.

“Hey, mate.” Louis said, putting a hand on Olly’s arm as if to keep them from losing balance.

“Louis!” Olly roared and pulled him in for a tight hug.

“How’ve you been?”

“Great. I’ve been great. And how about you? Heard you got a hold of the Styles kid.”

Louis laughed because yeah, he’d certainly gotten a hold of the Styles kid and it made it him feel fucking buzzing in a way no liquorice shot was able to.

“Yeah, everything’s brilliant.”

“Glad to hear that, mate.”

And then they were hugging again, the poison in their veins making them extra touchy. It was a brief moment when Louis caught Liam’s narrowed gaze from across the room with his chin resting on Olly’s shoulder. It was almost as if the sheer layer covering his eyes had become thicker and like beams of sun were attacking him, burning his eyes now and not just blinding. He needed air.

“I’m just gonna step outside for a moment.” Louis said, smiling, but pulling away.

“Alright. I’m headed home now anyways. Call me soon, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll come by the bar soon.”

Olly nodded brightly at Louis before turning on his heel, aiming for the door.

Louis watched the people socialise around the flat, caught Harry’s shiny eyes from across the room before he stepped outside on the balcony to let the cool night air swallow him up.

“Hey, Lou.”

Louis blinked, twice, and spun around to be faced with Zayn and Liam who were huddled up against the wall, Zayn with a lighted up cigarette between his chapped lips, the burn from the cigarette contrasting beautifully against the dark.

“Hey.”

Liam looked motionless beside Zayn, not a single trace of emotion to be seen on his face or a single sound coming from his lips.

Zayn smiled a little, took another drag and both Louis and Liam watched carefully as he blew the smoke out through his mouth and nose. “Here, Liam,” He mumbled, “Need to take a piss.”

He ghosted past Louis and it was like a cold shower making goose bumps appear on Louis’ arms. He blinked again, trying to gather the fact that he was standing on the balcony with Liam alone and Liam was smoking the left overs of Zayn’s cigarette. Louis felt unable to tear his gaze off of Liam as his eyes crinkled at the corners and his cheeks hollowed with each drag.

“Didn’t take you for a smoker,” Louis said because he had nothing else to say, his mind felt like a blank, white paper just screaming for words to be put down in a world where ink didn’t exist.

“I’m not, really.” Liam muttered, taking another drag and Louis could not for the life of him figure out if he was being sarcastic or just simply honest. “Zayn’s kind of a bad influence on me.”

Louis didn’t say anything to that and Liam silently handed the cigarette even though it only had two or three drags left inn it. Louis brought it to his lips, wincing as the heavy, strong smoke trickled down his throat with a much more intense burning than the shots.

“I have to say this sooner or later,” Liam said, almost casually, “But if you fuck Harry up, I will fuck you up twice as bad.”

“Yeah – alright.”

Silence fell upon the both of them, but the brown-eyed boy didn’t move an inch, not even when Louis stubbed the fag against the wall and flicked it into the night.

“So, why is it you dislike me?” Liam asked, his voice laced with emotions Louis couldn’t define.

“I don’t dislike you.”

“What the fuck would you call it hen?”

Louis took a sharp intake of air before answering rather firmly, “I don’t think we should talk about this right now. We’ve both been drinking and I don’t know about you but –“

“You’re not even close to being drunk, Louis.”

Louis stared wide-eyed at Liam for a second and he didn’t think it was possible, but he was a bit scared of Liam at that moment. He’d thought he was all innocent, nothing but sweet words and careful smiles, but there was temper in Liam. Something like passion, melted with anger and it made Louis’ hands tremble because he could see it all – how fucking desperately and infinitely he loved Zayn.

“You and Zayn have hurt he each other enough for a lifetime.” Louis said and it was so stupid. He didn’t know why he was saying it, because their love was so obvious. He was being a fucking inconsiderate, greedy twat.

“So what? When you love someone, hurting them is inevitable.”

“But–”

“But nothing, Louis! It’s not like you and Harry are perfect either. I’m not going to dig into what happened between you two all those years ago or what happened not too long ago, but it sure as hell didn’t happen smoothly. I don’t believe you for a second if you start denying things with Harry have always been great.”

“They haven’t–”

“So it’s a question of who’s been hurting each other _the most_? That might be the most fucking stupid thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Would you let me fucking finish?” Louis gritted out.

Liam’s lips twitched in a sort of indifferent manner as he said, “Be my guest,” with a vague gesture of his hand. He shone such responsibility that Louis almost felt choked in it, because the sense and the rightness were displayed so obviously on Liam’s face.

Louis scratched the inner side of his arm, leaving trails of red on his path and with eyes staring purposefully at the wall behind Liam. “I’m sorry.” He said instead of all the things he could’ve said. But it was better – it was better than trying to defend himself which was only bound to leave him in an even bigger mess.

The other boy didn’t say anything to Louis’ statement. He waited, patiently, because he was that kind of guy. He was patient when he had to be.

“I don’t dislike you… it’s just – in the beginning I was jealous because you two were so serious and I was afraid… that Zayn would forget about me, leave me, like, he’s my best friend. I can’t live without him. When you two started having problems it just gave me reason to hate, not you, but your relationship. I never, like, discouraged Zayn regarding you and him, but I don’t – I guess I should’ve been more supportive. And I’m sorry for that.”

“You should tell Zayn that.” Liam said, edgy, but his voice was far softer than earlier.

Louis nodded because he knew that; his consciousness had been telling him that for the past year, if not more. “When Harry and I, y’know, _happened_ – things were difficult, but you and Zayn had suddenly figured it out, you two were – _are_ – an almost perfect couple. And now, I really have no reasons to be –“

“A prick,” Liam offered.

“Um, yeah… a prick,” Louis said, throat feeling thick, “I just got so accustomed to detesting you. Couldn’t shake it off. It’s a bad explanation, but it’s true nonetheless.”

Liam expression softened visibly but he didn’t say a word when Louis fell silent because he didn’t know what else to say. He’d peeled all of his skin off and been honest for once. It was all he could do.

“Please say something, Liam.”

“I get it.”

“Okay.”

“I want us to be friends,” Liam said, eyes trained calmly on blue circles, “Because I’m serious about Zayn and I can’t be with him if his best friend doesn’t approve of our relationship. Zayn and I have both fucked up but we’ve moved on from that now, and I hope you can move on from that too.”

“I can.” Louis nodded slowly, as if testing the waters, as if thinking it through but in reality his mind was completely blank.

“So, I think we should all meet up for lunch sometime next week- to catch up since you’ve kept Harry all to yourself and away from the world for quite some time.” he almost smirked. “You’d be up for that?”

“Yes, of course.” Louis said quickly, lips daring to twitch in a half smile. Liam smiled back, carefully, but it was a smile nonetheless and it was all worth it because it made Louis feel warm.

Liam’s brown eyes glinted as he stuck out his hand, waiting for Louis to accept it. Louis grasped it tightly, as if clinging onto Liam, savoring the moment where the nauseous feeling in his chest was relieved and it his heart sort of unclenched. It was like lukewarm water was running through him, tempering and curing everything in his body in a slow gentle pace.

“I’ll tell Haz.”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Liam released Louis’ hand and said, “It was nice talking to you, Louis.”

Louis nodded, finally letting a full blown smile appear on his still stiff lips. He watched him disappear through the sliding glass door, getting lost between bodies and Louis was just about to go back inside, after a taking a few deep breaths, when he could hear the doors sliding open behind him.

“Louis?”

“Hey, babe.” Louis said, as he turned to face Harry with a cute frown on his face, but with eyes more shiny than they had ever been before.

“What are you doing out here?” Harry stepped forward, aiming right for Louis’ open, awaiting arms.

“Just getting some fresh air.”

Despite his much taller, heavier figure Harry leaned on Louis, snuggling into this neck with little content humming noises. It was quite endearing, Louis thought, as he absentmindedly ran fingers through his curls.

“You alright, Lou?” Harry asked, fingers digging into Louis’ sides and lips slightly parted against his neck.

Louis smiled, giving Harry’s curls one last pet. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> Some feedback would be great xx
> 
> ~ hazzazfrosting.tumblr.com


End file.
